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Anger Management Message Board


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Re: Shopping Rage
Nov 9, 2007
Sorry, didnít meant to come off as a total B. didnít want to make you feel bad, and Iím not trying to be a bully. I just wanted you to take an honest look at this. Iím sure many people laugh it off, or try to be supportive and encourage you to seek help. But most people donít bother to seek help, they continue to hold it in, and continue to rage out on strangers. I hope that doesnít happen to you.

Honestly so many people are like this, but it really sucks because we see it in children, and even though we encourage them to work it out properly using words and expressing how they feel, while the other child doesnít care, and continues to treat them badly, how can we expect them to mature? Its funny because working with children you really see that they are little replicas of adults. And so many children never learn this and carry it in to adulthood. In stead of learning how to properly communicate with each other. children learn how to wear amour to defend them selves aggressively, or become manipulative to get their way. a child that is really manipulative grows in to a leader, not a follower.

So yeah I do encourage you to seek the help and not be like most people and hold it in or continue to be in a terrible situation at home. Which causes you to become more and more angry. The thing is, like a child if you make an effort to change but the people around you continue to treat you the same, how on earth can someone be expected to do that? If you are going to treat people with respect, because you want to be treated with respect and people around you do not comply with that, then I donít think you should be sticking around. It may only end up creating someone you donít want to be.

I would also have my family get some help too, I believe they too should be making an effort to treat you better, not only you making an effort to treat strangers better. And who knows maybe if you bring this up with the people who are bulling you, maybe you will find out that they too are being bullied by someone and have a hard time dealing so lash out to people(you) as they know they can get away with it. The cycle needs to be broken. Thatís all Iím trying to say.
Re: Shopping Rage
Nov 30, 2007
I can kind of understand, I dont suffer with anger problems, but I do suffer from bad anxiety, and crowds are just awful I hate them, instead of lashing out at the people I almost resent them for being there and will avoid close contact with people as much as possible, people standing still arent as bad but when they are criss crossing everywhere and walking into me it just makes me feel horrible. Instead of getting angry i'll duck away from them, i can feel my breathing become shallow and i tense up and often end up feeling hot and dizzy. I think that it is because the situation itself IS stressful and we react in different ways, but the 'stimulus' is the same thing.
I guess if you've had pent up feelings and resentment towards people taking advantage or pushing you around then I guess this might make you more likely to snap. Have you looked into getting an anger management book? Im not sure if the methods to help in this sort of situation would be the same as with anxiety but i find those books pretty helpful! you dont sound like a bad person at all, i always worry that people will think im weird because of how i act when shopping like if someone comes up behind me i'll dash off lol, I AM getting better with it slowly but surely!!
My only other suggestion is something that i do myself- online shopping!!! Ahhh! make yourself a cup of tea, in your pj's in a nice warm room and broswe tiul your hearts content and the stuff delivered to your door! what more could you ask for!! hehe its prob not a good long term solution as you definitely dont want to lock yourself away as that wont help at all, but maybe it could lighten to pressure over the xmas period and then you could try to improve your attitude towards shopping when its not quite so chaotic?

Anyways not sure if any of this will help at all, im no expert but thought id make a couple of suggestions! hope the xmas period isnt too stressful for you :)

laura





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