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Ok please some one tell me why is it when we think things are going ok somthing comes and smack's you right between the eyes with a big wake up nothing changes call!?!? Ill tell you what i really dont no how i have held me temper this past few weeks!
All relationships yada out of the way!
Im pleased to annoucne we have yet another addition to our family, i have been informed last week that i have a 8mnth baby sister... Welcome to the madness sis. I will pray for her everyday knowing she has him in her life! I duno maybe im being harsh but i just feel so sorry thinking he has bought another child into this world! Then i think maybe he will be different because he is getting old? Well this is another women again not his wife, ive never heard of her. Why has this made me angry? My blood is boiling i feel like going and seeing this women and telling her what he is and what an effect he has on hes childrens lifes! There aint a word strong enough for this man! My Father. Argggrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Im gonna pick up where i left off.

I was on the next visit to blackpool.

It was Fathers 50th birthday, hes wife had payed for me my daughter and my cousin to go stay in a caravan over there for the weekend. I didnt no where it was and hadnt long passed my driving tes so he came got the three of us and bought us over there. When we arrived off the motor way we passed the estate my b&s lived on then turned into the same caravan park where we used to play as kids and my bf's mum an dad had their van. I could'nt believe it he had done this on purpose. He Knew that i would not be able to resist trying to see them. He had planned this in his mind. He even went out of his way to say ' I Know its a bit close but the wife had booked it! Hmmm yeah right!, me and my cousin looked at eachother and just said cool no probs! I must say before i go on. My cousin was my fathers brothers child we had become very close as he lived near to me and he was good friends with my brother from my mother if you follow?.. When we arrived i thought we were all staying there, but dad said 'no im staying at home ill come back tommorrow' He thought he was smart, he knew i was going to make contact!
Well he was right, i did. Previous to this visit i had visited other b&s in manchester, i had got a few numbers off them for my brother in Bpool.

So i called him up, told him where i was and invited him round for a drink to catch up with he's cousin. I told him to pass on my number to my sister and ask her to give me a call on the off chance she may feel like speaking to me.
Shocking but yes! She texted me, as nice as you like saying she heres im around and she would meet me if i wanted. I mean as if i wouldnt its what i wanted for many many years. I explained to her what he had done by putting me at the park over the way from her, but she said she didnt care and is not afraid of him anymore, she called him by his name and sounded real strong. This gave me alot of hope and i felt very emotional when i finished talking with her. I was scared shaking and felt a bit sick. We arranged to meet at a pub i knew close by. The few hours in between i was so nervous, just remember it tipping down with rain and the sky was all dull and nasty. I was praying in my mind 'please lord let me just build this bridge, let me just have a few minuets to show them my love'.
I stood in that pub with my daughter shaking, pale and scared of what she was going to think when she seen me. She called not long after and was at another pub the wrong one! i thought she was calling to tell me she wernt coming at first, but another 15 minuets wasnt going to make a difference. She finally arrived, i couldnt believe my eyes so was just like me, or me like her, our hair, our smile, our likes and dislikes things we had done over the years that we both related to it was so nice. So uplifting just to be close to her i felt warm. Deep down i just wanted to cuddle the life out of her. She asked a little about him but wasnt really that interested.
This sister was the one who he put into intensive care! I couldnt bring myself to ask about this but a few story's were passed around and a few memorys. After a while my middle brother called her and asked if she was ok, he decided to then join us at the pub. When he came it was very emotional we all had tears in our eyes. He was always the naughtest or should i say the most daring, he made me laugh and when we were little and i went there he would stick to me like glue. He was a male version of me. I could see in he's eyes that he was still alittle crazy shall we say. They had grow up so much, the last time i had seen my sister was at my grandmas funeral and she was only small. We talked for a few hours then i had to get back before Father did so i had to say my goodbyes, we all cryed and cuddled and promised to keep intouch. I even said to my sister, now i have got you i dont need to have anything else to do with him i just want you in my life. I told her i loved her and them all. I was so happy that day to see them well and healthy and living the lives they wanted to how they wanted to. They were doing well and could see their happiness of freedom from that past life with father! I wondered though how she felt inside, what she was really thinking.
I floated back to the caravan i thought nothing could break my mood, i had made a big step today and noone not even him could take that away from me, i felt like my patients had finally payed off and i could now build a relationship with them.
What happened next was bound to happen somtime unfortunatly it was the same night and believe me when i say you wouldnt get your breath I totally flipped my lid on him and both said things i wish i could have recorded, he really is a sick twisted excuse for a human!!!:mad:

Ill leave you here for tonight catch you later, time for bed....zzzzz...zzzzz

Anyone bored yet????

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