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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Im back already and im so friggin angry with myself, my fella called me and he has said he thinks we should stay away from eachother for a while untill i take steps to sort myself out. I didnt tell him about this coz i think he would think im stupid! I totally agree with him but feel furious at the same time and rejected, even though i no its for the best. I can see myself sending him some nasty text messages and making things even worse. Why would i even think to do that its sad. I hope i dont text him and i hope this feeling of guilt or rejection or a mixture of both goes away instead of making me act like even more of a total twat Argghhhhh!!!!

I have spoken to one of my friends today who has helped me alot by listening, she has offered me help of a counciler that has been helpful for her and her problems, she has offered this before but because of bad experiences i have had with shrinks in the past i never bothered, but she gaurentes me this lady will help me. Im gonna give it ago... Im not gonna stop writing here though!

Another thing that is getting on my nerves today is the state of my own bedroom, i feel like opening up the windows and throwing everything out! Im sure my room reflects on the way my mind is, a total friggin mess! Dont get me wrong im not a filthy person or anything, if you came to my house even though i aint got my door in the living room everything down stairs has its place and is clean and tidy, but upstairs is a mess so i dont let no one up there. I dont let my daughter have her friends upstairs either and thats sad coz she is always staying over at her mates and asking for her mates to stay. I really need to adress this i think it would make me happier and it would definatley make my daughter happier.....

My head is real busy now im thinking all kinds of stuff non of it making any scence and all because my bf has done the right thing in making a decision not to see me. I feel emotional and am now wondering how long this spout is going to last untill my anger takes over and i flip again. See i no its gonna come and it aint even happened yet its like im on my defences to myself fighting myself. WHY!!!!

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