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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

I dont know where to start. My wife and kids have moved down the street to her sisters temporarily. I've been blowing up lately kicking holes in walls, yelling, cussing, generaly out of control. This has been going on foe months now. My wife has called the police on me at least 5 times, mainly because shes scared..i understand that. I have recently begun to seek counsling, though my next appt isnt until june 28th. I cant sleep, all i think about is how i have been acting, and that seems to get me agitated. I know its wrong to act this way to someone im supposed to love. But i dont know how to control it or whats setting me off. I want help, and im seeking it, but its just not fast enough, i dont have 3 weeks to wait. Ive called the crisis line, again, and unless im a threat to myself or others theres nothing they can do. I feel like such a worthless piece of crap. How can I alienate my wife and family. Noone will talk to me, her sister says to divorce me. I just dont know whats going on in side my head.

Let me give you some more background. My stepson 14, has been in trouble with the law, sold drugs in school, got expelled, and all he can do is blame me and everyone else for his problems. We dont do drugs, drink, or anything illegal. He states he wants me gone for the past 3 years and has told everyone that. Me and his mom have been together for almost 4 yrs, we have a daughter between who is 2 and I love her very much. She has another son 9 who is very kind got honor role, and has never caused me any problems whatsoever.

I was laid off in April, been looking for work since then, bills are piling up, and overall this isnt helping either. Most importantly, I have scared the crap out of my wife enough that she feels she cant be in the same house with me. I want to stop this, and figure out why im doing this. Im not supposed to scare my wife and family. Yes, I guess im an abuser, emotionally...havnt always been like this. its like something inside of snapped, or like a switch that was turned on, and now i cant or dont know how to turn it off.
Ive been doing alot of reading, and it seems it could be anything from anger management to bipolar and everything in between. Me writing this isnt easy for everyone to see, but i just want help, and want my wife and kids NOT to be scared of me! Im not a bad person, i know this! Im screwed up. Please dont respond with hateful comments, im needing help, not someone to say "good, she should leave" or things like that. Maybe she should, but regardless, i need to get a grasp on reality, and stop feeling paranoid, angry, and thinking everyone hates or is against me. I just want it all to stop, before I get any further out of hand. This isnt fair to anyone. :cry:

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