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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Your husband reminds me alot of my father. Everything I did always seemed to be a problem for him. Nothing was ever good enough. I was not allowed to make my own decisions from things such as which high school i wanted to go to, what sports or activities I could join. I was forced to play things I didn't enjoy. I was a 94% ave. student, & he would wanna know what I was doing wrong that I kept losing 6%. He was horrible to my mother also. His perfectionistic & controlling ways no doubt made mine & my mother's life a living hell.
The funny thing is, on the outside, he was the sweetest/nicest guy you could ever meet. Everybody LOVED him & couldn't understand why I hated him so much. I could never understand how he could treat outsiders so well, and his own family so badly. like you, I would retreat to my own bedroom & enjoyed being alone as well.

All I can say is that I dont think you have an anger management problem. I think it very well may be depression, the symptoms definitely seem to fit. I myself & no longer living in that hellhole & have a great husband & 2 kids, but still suffer from anxiety/panic attacks which have recently led to depression. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything when you are in such a negative, resentful state of mind. The best thing you can do, is to find natural ways to help yourself if you are against meds. I never liked meds either, so I can relate. Make sure you take a good multi-vitamin, especially B complex & Vitamin D, because they help combat depression symptoms. Get some sunlight everyday, take a nice long walk with your dogs, get some exercise (even though its the last thing you feel like doing), drink lots of water, try to eat healthy, & avoid alcohol & smoking. Read some self-help books. Get a hobby that you enjoy & don't let him talk you out of it. Try to do something you enjoy everyday, even if it's just taking a nice hot bath with candles, reading a book, listening to music, or watching a funny movie. Another thing that helped me was journaling. It allowed me to keep track of my moods & vent & eventually gain some perspective. You have to make yourself a priority, because if you don't know one else will. Don't allow him to make you feel worthless. You deserve more out of life. Don't depend on him to be happy, find your own happiness. Hope you feel better :)
Sportybear as soon as I read where my husband reminds you of your father. He reminds me of mine. I was always grounded; not aloud to voice an opinion; always told to go to my room & 45 years later I am still going to my room for my peace. I made a point of having my own room when I first moved her. I had lived too long on my own with my own room I needed that space. My husband shows the sweet nice guy to other's & they can find no wrong in him. I have in contact friends from my elementary school days & a few of them have been here. They know me so well & they have seen signs of my husbands put downs-although mild they have noticed. He likes me all to himself-no family-no friends. And he is just plain mean and miserable most of the time-I don't like him one bit when he's being an insulting bully so I go off to my room.

I am prone to anxiety and panic attacks myself & I hate them when they come on and I can't talk or see straight and feel like I'm going to combust right on the spot. One time a woman came to my sliding door & it was a dark dismal day which can bring on attacks. So I listened to her for about a minute and was having a panic attack-I told her I couldn't talk and shut the door and closed the curtains on the woman. I would love to know what she thought! ha They became quite disableing to me, I would get them while driving home from work in the dark rainy night and have to pull over until they passed. At that time I had ativan sublingual tabs to put under my tongue to help me relax. I don't get them near how I used to but I do have them on occasion.

I do keep busy with my own thing, I don't go out much because of the depression I think there are days I don't even get dressed, stick my hair in a pony tail and stay in my pj pants and tank all day. I read alot & love researching on the internet-so I do have my own things I do. I have a journal that I keep on my Word program and ad every little mean thing that my husband says, because they are so cutting and hurtful. I try to tune hime out and keep to myself if he wants to talk to me decently that's fine but the minute that changes and he starts raising his voice I'm out of there.

Ya, I have really been avoiding going back on my Prozac it takes any life in me out and I am so tired and spaced out. I take Wellbutrin XL which works well for me & my energy level. Don't smoke or drink can't handle either anymore and don't miss em. Thank you for responding to my post and for your helpful ideas to help me.:wave:





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