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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Disclaimer: I have OCD so might be obsessed with the idea of developing anger problems, so please bear with me on my comments.

I have different concerns about my anger and I do not know how normal or valid they are:
1. Sometimes I feel more angry in my mind about something than I physically or verbally act, i.e. consider stubbing your toe in church. REALLY pissed off and hurt and want to scream, but hold it in. This concerns me because I wonder if I am one day going to lash out the same way as I feel and if I will turn into a violent or uncontrollable angry person because of it.
2. In #1, I think anger is a feeling and with that feeling does not necessarily come a physical reaction. So if you weren’t in church and stubbed your toe, would you scream, punch a wall, punch a person, etc.? If you hold in the frustration, all you know is you were mad, but not how mad. I get concerned I will lose controllability of anger and start doing those bad physical things. How does anyone know they won’t do that?
3. Sometimes when my girlfriend gets involved in my frustrated moment, I feel even angrier than had she not gotten involved at all. I.E., recently I messed up dinner and it really bothered me. I was thinking “if she asks why or how I screwed it up, whether out of curiosity or consideration, it’s going to really irk me more.” Almost like her getting involved on any level just prolongs the anger, when in reality I just wanted to let it pass on my own and move on.
4. In item #2, I feel like it’s weird that although in that situation my girlfriend didn’t say anything, I still thought before she had the opportunity to say something that “I hope she doesn’t say anything or that’s really going to piss me off.” It seems like the more normal reaction would be for someone to be angry about messing up the food UNTIL someone gets involved and THEN the other person’s involvement potentially makes them angrier.
Do those things seem normal or not? Maybe I am just obsessing, but anytime I get even a little frustrated with anything, I start immediately feeling guilty or worried that my anger is out of control, even if I don’t physically do anything to show that. Thanks for any help.

PS, I saw a psychiatrist recently about OCD. I briefly explained #1/#2 to him and he thought my worries were OCD related and did not seem concerned by them. But then a few weeks later I got frustrated by something and got concerned all over again and thought this might be a good place to post the question. It’s almost like I fear the anger, but could that be a more underlying problem with anger management issues?





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