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Anger Management Message Board


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Anger..
Sep 27, 2011
Hello all, My name is james jackson, im 20 years old and I admit to having an anger problem.

Ive been going to Anger management now for 2 months and while i believe im making good progress im also worries about the coming weeks.

My current sittuation : Me and my boyfriend broke up in june after being together for 17 months, We broke up but remainder friends, and still remained sexually active with one and other. This was a strain for us both to uphold after we were still getting over the breakup and really didnt help matters, we would argue and argue still.. I then decided it was a good idea to move to back to the uk for some time to give us both a rest period, During this time it was clear we still loved each other very much and we want to be together still, Now, 8 weeks into my anger management classes ive decided to move back to canada to be with my boyfriend and im worried that without the weekly visits to the anger management classes im going to fall into my old habbits (although i really hope i dont) I guess what im asking is what would people suggest? has anyone found a really good way to deal with there anger outside of classes?

Now that thats out the way id like to explain some things. i believe i know why i have anger problems, at the age of 11 i was sexually abused by one of my many brother and his friends over a period of 3 months, At the time i didnt really understand what was happening to me and didnt tell my parents untill i was 16, i wont get into details due to the hurt i still feel from those memories, but i believe this could be one of many factors.. does that seem right?
basically i can flip for no real reasoning at all, the smallest things can set me off, but at the same time i can take so much before i burst sometimes.

For example... One Small word can set me off, ill be Raging, and i dont even really know why ill be raging so hard, Cursing and shouting all over the house, banging doors, Punching Brick walls. i really have no idea.

When it comes to my boyfriend where do i even begin, Im jelous, i know this, I dont like to see him with other people and thaught i could handle an open relationship, It seems i couldnt, if i saw him asmuch as hug another guy id go into a frenzy, It just felt like.. i wasnt good enough, theres something he wanted that i couldnt give him, we would argue and argue all the way home, and then Sleep in seperate beds or even id different houses.. Other occasions he would be angry at something very small and id be passive, he would shout at me for so long and id just be upset... but after 30 minutes of being shouted at id majorly flip.. To the point that ive Pushed him to the ground 2 times, granted once was in self defence, but thats besides the point, I dont want to hurt people i love, and i Really did regret it as soon as it happened, but nothing can erase the past, another time i struck him was when he was pulling my fingers back and i asked him to stop as it was hurting, i lost it and Tried to punch him in the chest, not hard, but it was just a reflex thing to put him into shock, he ended up moving as i did this and i struck him in the mouth..

I dont really blame him for any single event, Its my fualt that i hit him, No one elses and i accept full responcibility.. We did both play a role in the leading up to these events however. am i wrong to accuse him of having anger problems also? or am i really the only one to fualt here? when i get back to canada i want to be like it was way back when, when we first met, and ive been trying really hard to be a better person so we can be better together, im just worried that if he gets angry again im going to do something i regret..





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