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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Is anger genetic?
Jan 13, 2012
I'm a 31 year old female; mother of two and wife. I grew up with a parent who was very prone to "tantrums"--we all lived in fear and dreaded this parent's presence in the home. At spent my childhood and young adult years shut down and withdrawn as a survival mechanism.

Somewhere in young adulthood, I began "tantruming" myself, feeling very irritable all the time, responding in anger to any feeling (stress, sadness, hurt, etc.). I have two siblings: one is the exact same way, the other isn't at all. It makes me wonder why two of us seemingly caught the anger illness and the other didn't.

I really hate it. I think my irritability is so ugly and shameful. But I am so hardwired to be irritable. Throw on the stress of motherhood, lack of sleep, responsibilities and when things don't go my way, my blood pressure goes through the roof.

I am medicated for anxiety and depression. I have been on several different medications including Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, Effexor and Pristiq. None of these have ever gotten rid of the irritability. They may subdue me somewhat, but I am still a moody thundercloud.

I get overwhelmed SO easily. It really sucks to live life like that, to feel out of control and angry all the time. I know I shouldn't...and I feel silly and petty for getting upset over trite things. But my blood just boils, out of my control.

I'm definitely better at handling it and slightly improved with medication, but it's still bad compared to the average non-angry person. It just feels so ingrained in me, like a scar I can never get rid of.

Why do people "inherit" anger like that and how do you manage it when it's so much a part of who you have always been?

My spouse is an angry person as well (we actually find that sharing this attribute strengthens our bond since we understand and are able to support one another), but he did not come from an angry home. He just became an angry adolescent and adult, easily frustrated and angry at the whole wide stupid world.

So where does this yuck come from, why some of us and not others?

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