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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Re: Intense Anger
Jan 26, 2014
Anger is very toxic. I think it's best to use several approaches at the same time.

Biological: there are biological triggers: hormones, blood sugar, malnutrition. Feed your body basic things you need like sunlight, healthy food, movement, sleep and regular meals. You may have nutritional deficiencies. Supplements like ashwagandha can help take the edge off.

Abuse: I speak from experience here. Part of you may feel that you deserve abuse, then another part is angry that you don't deserve it. Find a way to flush these feeling out other than venting them at others. Journaling, fantasies, boxing, writing stories, watching movies that address your issues...

Buttons: Look at your buttons carefully. I had one I was sure a friend was causing. Every time it happened I felt I had only two choices and both were bad. In fact, these were my buttons and my neurotic issues were keeping them alive. Once I saw this, it was not difficult to see I had more than two options. Once I started setting limits, I felt more in control and it was easier to cope.

Keep People Safe: Find a way to protect people around you. You may feel that you can't get away, but that's often an illusion. A week in a hospital or at a friend's house may be the difference between harming someone and not. People say they can't take a week off work, then die of heart attacks. There are always choices, but the more upset you are the less likely you are to see them.

Sleep: This is critical in all emotional problems because sleep is the foundation for learning and growth. If you don't get at least 4-6 good quality hours of sleep, you may not have enough perspective on your problems to see solutions or make changes.

Therapy or 12-step programs: You may need counseling or group work of some kind. Groups can help a lot because you can see your problems in other people. It can be obvious what the other person is stuck on, then easier to see in yourself.

Meditation: Meditation and breathing exercises (with or without spiritual beliefs) are calming and boost your problem-solving ability. Try 10 minutes a day for 3 weeks and I believe you'll start seeing what you need to do to improve your situation.

Medication: I'm not a huge fan of medication for mood and anger, but it's better than harming people and/or ending up in jail. Many people get it in their head that psychoactive medication is bad, so they never go there and harm themselves or someone else. Medication is not something to do lightly, but it's all a matter of weighing the choices. What if a few pills could have prevented your mother from abusing you?

Good luck,

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