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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Hi my name is Dave, I've been married to Sarah for 17 long years. From before we married I realised something wasn't quite right with her but I ignored it at my peril.
Very soon after getting married she was hitting me. Since I'm a 6 ft guy I brushed it aside at first when she hit me with her fists. But she soon moved onto using broom handles and household items, which really hurt.
We have two children who are aware of her temper but she's not hurt them.
She seems to save all her violent temper tantrums for me and more recently her parents. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and psychosis.
It seems the doctors are preoccupied with giving her a label just to get rid of us. The medication they've provided my wife doesn't help her anger issues at all. It's as if she has never learnt how to express her emotions, she can't show love and she can't control her temper.
After 17 years I'm an the point of divorce.
The absolute worst thing is she doesn't recognise she has a problem. She's so convincing is totally unsettling. Why would a grown adult lie? But even behind closed doors in a one on one conversation she maintains her innocence? Its really freaky and very difficult to deal with.

I'm the one left feeling guilty after she attacks me and then she breaks down in tears saying I'm taking her children off her!
That's the last thing I want.

What I want is to have a loving and caring relationship where we both support each other; but after countless attempts I now realise that will never happen.
Until she realises she has an anger problem she can never get better. Unfortunately I think the problem is not just anger. Recently we were driving home returning from a nice family day out and she just exploded for no reason.
I was being ultra careful during the whole weekend to ensure nothing could set her off. But seeing how she erupted without any provocation makes me realise there must be some kind of mental issue involved, perhaps paranoia.

It's really difficult to deal with and I get no support from doctors or social services in having to look after my wife. Ironically I'm the only person to love her but whilst i carry her through daily life she punches me in the head as I try to help her.

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