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Anxiety Message Board

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My anxiety has plagued me since I was a child but as an adult and, in the age of google and *****, my health anxiety has taken me to a level I never considered possible. 2020 began with the miscarriage of a child that left me reeling in ways I had never experienced. The sadness and total despair were so heavy. My husbandís decision to immediately sign up for a vasectomy put me into a deeper depression and a place of anger. I was furious with him, blaming myself for the loss of my baby, so alone in all of those emotions. Then there came Corona. My son was hospitalized last fall for a virus that landed us in the ICU for a week. His breathing issues were already a top concern and the thought of him contracting this virus put me in a complete panic. Then it happened. I woke up and couldnít walk a straight line to the kitchen. The teledoc appointment ended with a diagnosis of Vertigo. I was prescribed Valium and that was that. But it wasnít really. Then came some headaches and I felt like my vision was off. I googled every symptom. And if course now I have a brain tumor... but is it just anxiety? The fullness in my ear? The ENT sent me to Vestibular rehab center. Itís not an infection. Now my neck is killing me. So Iím at the chiropractor who tells me Iím so tense he knows I have to be in pain and suggests TMJ. But that old brain tumor is still nagging at me... my dizziness improved but still rears itís ugly head when I bend over or look straight up. My headaches are less but is it because Iím medicating myself and itís masking the truth. I hate that this is taking over my life except I donít think anyone realizes the true struggles Iím constantly dealing with. Am I just crazy? Am I dying? How can I move past this? I have been blessed beyond measure in my life but the anxiety and depression are blinding me and I feel powerless against it all. So back to the chiro and a new pc this week. Thanks for letting me vent my story... I know Iím not alone in this but it sure feels pretty lonely.

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