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Thank you, you all. I have not been doing the exercises for the past couple of days (as I worked those two days), and I can feel the anxiety coming back. Funny, off the top of my head I can remember all the negative automatic thoughts but I can't remember the positive rational response defenses! I would write them down and carry them with me, but I'm afraid someone will see them and think "what the heck"? I guess I could put them on tiny pieces of paper or write them on pages of my small day timer?

My anxiety has been physically debilitating. It is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning and make it to work and put on a great performance. Everyone just thinks I'm a little hyper, no one knows about the anxiety, thank God. I don't want to lose any jobs. But I wonder how long I can do this. I am now taking .125 mg of Klonopin every morning (have now been taking Klonopin for two months), and 150 mg of Effexor a day (been taking that for two weeks). Psychiatrist said I could stop taking the Klonopin after two weeks of taking the Effexor, since upping it to 150 mg (like I just did) should curb the anxiety so I won't need the Klonopin. Wrong! I still have physically debilitating anxiety. The Effexor must not have taken effect yet-it's only been two weeks, they said it would take 2-4 weeks. I've already been on Klonopin for 2 months. I just hope it's okay to stay on .125 mg of it every morning until I feel the Effexor kicking in. i feel like the doctors never listen. They'll just tell me to stay on the Klonopin but do not admit to its dangers, they say my dosage is so small I won't become dependent. But I wonder how long I should stay on the Klonopin.

I have not showered in a couple of days, I live alone, and it's taking great energy just to get to the shower. This is hell. Thanks for all your support, even those who feel better who keep coming back to visit and help. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you are so greatly appreciated. I might try some breathing and prog musc relaxtn before getting in shower.

P.S. it is good to have support system ie hubby/sig other. I spurn people/become impatient and drive them away because of my anxiety, so I dont' feel like I can date, I become too sensitive to everything they do and just yell at them; so impatient. Thank God I've already experienced love in my life so I won't feel totally devastated if it doesn't happen again. And my family is faraway across the world. I am alone here. I treasure my few friends; they are my support system. And I treasure you all, too. Thank you.
[QUOTE=Forrester]Thank you, you all. I have not been doing the exercises for the past couple of days (as I worked those two days), and I can feel the anxiety coming back. Funny, off the top of my head I can remember all the negative automatic thoughts but I can't remember the positive rational response defenses! I would write them down and carry them with me, but I'm afraid someone will see them and think "what the heck"? I guess I could put them on tiny pieces of paper or write them on pages of my small day timer?

My anxiety has been physically debilitating. It is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning and make it to work and put on a great performance. Everyone just thinks I'm a little hyper, no one knows about the anxiety, thank God. I don't want to lose any jobs. But I wonder how long I can do this. I am now taking .125 mg of Klonopin every morning (have now been taking Klonopin for two months), and 150 mg of Effexor a day (been taking that for two weeks). Psychiatrist said I could stop taking the Klonopin after two weeks of taking the Effexor, since upping it to 150 mg (like I just did) should curb the anxiety so I won't need the Klonopin. Wrong! I still have physically debilitating anxiety. The Effexor must not have taken effect yet-it's only been two weeks, they said it would take 2-4 weeks. I've already been on Klonopin for 2 months. I just hope it's okay to stay on .125 mg of it every morning until I feel the Effexor kicking in. i feel like the doctors never listen. They'll just tell me to stay on the Klonopin but do not admit to its dangers, they say my dosage is so small I won't become dependent. But I wonder how long I should stay on the Klonopin.

I have not showered in a couple of days, I live alone, and it's taking great energy just to get to the shower. This is hell. Thanks for all your support, even those who feel better who keep coming back to visit and help. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you are so greatly appreciated. I might try some breathing and prog musc relaxtn before getting in shower.

P.S. it is good to have support system ie hubby/sig other. I spurn people/become impatient and drive them away because of my anxiety, so I dont' feel like I can date, I become too sensitive to everything they do and just yell at them; so impatient. Thank God I've already experienced love in my life so I won't feel totally devastated if it doesn't happen again. And my family is faraway across the world. I am alone here. I treasure my few friends; they are my support system. And I treasure you all, too. Thank you.[/QUOTE]

Forrester,
I'm short on time today but wanted to get you a response. I agree with all janik had to say. Just keep plugging and youy will get there :) I also wanted to mention that when I took a few consecutive days off from countering my thoughts everything would seem to come crashing back on me too. I still counter thoughts off and on these days and it still helps a lot as we all spent years thinking inaccurately and it takes time to establish our new ways of thinking. Take care!

Billy





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