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The pathetic me.
Feb 4, 2004
Well hello everyone. My name is Matt and I am sadly 21 years old. I'm just feeling so bad lately I just want to write something, somewhere so if no one replies thatís perfectly fine. I just need to get some things out some how. I've always been a little bit shy, but over the years it just got worse and worse. It's most likely from poor self image at first, me being and a male and only 5 feet and 5 inches my entire life has been really hard. In junior high kids can be really cruel. Anyways, the shyness got really bad over the years to the point were I couldn't stand being in public at all. My docs over the past year say I have social anxiety.

Well I got sick of school so my mom who is a teacher home schooled me for high school. I then did one semester on campus at Notre Dame of Ohio which was hell. It's a great school, and everyone was nice but I just can't stand being around people. I have tried paxil, Zoloft and Lexapro and all they did was make me sleepy. I'm currently not on anything because I'm behind on my doctor appointments. I was also on those medications for depression which was most likely caused by the social anxiety. My depression get really bad at night time, every night now it seems. I just get so worried and sad that I'm going to live the rest of my life, how long or short it maybe, as a hermit in here. All I want is to have my own wife and kids which can never happen at this rate. I'm not getting any better with the meds so far.

Does anyone have any ideas on what other things or anything that might help? I'm willing to try almost anything at all. I have tons of friends online but itís just not the same as having friends in real life...





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