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I left before 4 pm past Friday and felt fine all weekend, but dreading coming here (work) -- now I've been here over 4 hours and starting to feel like doo-doo all over again. What is it about being in the office that sucks all of the life and vitality out of me, and my natural spontaneous self, and leaves behind this anxious creature, alienated, thinking that they are all a bunch of creeps out to get me in trouble any way they can? I was bored but relaxed at home -- I HAVE a life dammit -- this job interferes with my life!!! HA hA hA I wouldn't have much of a life without this job, no money -- catch 22.

I took my normal dose of Xanax this morning (.25). I am just finding it harder and harder to "fake it" here. It is boring but NOT relaxing -- it is boring and stressful because everyone is always competing and you can't trust anyone!!!

Why do we as a society (I'm from the U.S.) persist in the myth that ABUNDANCE is all around us and we never have to stay at a job we don't like, we can pursue our dreams -- when the reality is that life without a job, unless you are very well-off by other means, is just an endless scrounging for the next month's rent and eating Ramen soup and worrying so much that you can't be creative (I'm another wannabe writer) . . . and that it's almost impossible to find a good job right now?

so I keep this job and it stresses me out, then I think I'm a BAD person for coming on these Boards to vent when I should be all WORK WORK WORK --

and the lack of team spirit here (at work) REALLY stinks.

OK I'm sorry I have rambled -- I'll be very specific on this anxiety topic -- the people here are so competitive that, even though we all have a lot of vacation/personal and sick time, NO ONE save myself and one other woman has taken a day yet in 2004. I REALLY feel I need a "de-stress" day or two maybe at the beginning of March. I'd even like to make it a sick day, because as far as I'm concerned it's a sickness. Then the people here act all snooty like I am a slacker. This place is CRACKED. But they make a lot of money, and I make decent money working for them, that's why I stay. But I want that stress time off. I already have 5 vacation days scheduled & approved for August. I have 5 more vacation, 1 personal, and at least 9 sick days left. What would you do? Work through the anxiety/stress or just take the time? My superiors do not know that I suffer from anxiety (and depression) and I'd rather keep it that way -- I perform as well as anyone else so I don't think they need to know.
[QUOTE=mouse62]I left before 4 pm past Friday and felt fine all weekend, but dreading coming here (work) -- now I've been here over 4 hours and starting to feel like doo-doo all over again. What is it about being in the office that sucks all of the life and vitality out of me, and my natural spontaneous self, and leaves behind this anxious creature, alienated, thinking that they are all a bunch of creeps out to get me in trouble any way they can? I was bored but relaxed at home -- I HAVE a life dammit -- this job interferes with my life!!! HA hA hA I wouldn't have much of a life without this job, no money -- catch 22.

I took my normal dose of Xanax this morning (.25). I am just finding it harder and harder to "fake it" here. It is boring but NOT relaxing -- it is boring and stressful because everyone is always competing and you can't trust anyone!!!

Why do we as a society (I'm from the U.S.) persist in the myth that ABUNDANCE is all around us and we never have to stay at a job we don't like, we can pursue our dreams -- when the reality is that life without a job, unless you are very well-off by other means, is just an endless scrounging for the next month's rent and eating Ramen soup and worrying so much that you can't be creative (I'm another wannabe writer) . . . and that it's almost impossible to find a good job right now?

so I keep this job and it stresses me out, then I think I'm a BAD person for coming on these Boards to vent when I should be all WORK WORK WORK --

and the lack of team spirit here (at work) REALLY stinks.

OK I'm sorry I have rambled -- I'll be very specific on this anxiety topic -- the people here are so competitive that, even though we all have a lot of vacation/personal and sick time, NO ONE save myself and one other woman has taken a day yet in 2004. I REALLY feel I need a "de-stress" day or two maybe at the beginning of March. I'd even like to make it a sick day, because as far as I'm concerned it's a sickness. Then the people here act all snooty like I am a slacker. This place is CRACKED. But they make a lot of money, and I make decent money working for them, that's why I stay. But I want that stress time off. I already have 5 vacation days scheduled & approved for August. I have 5 more vacation, 1 personal, and at least 9 sick days left. What would you do? Work through the anxiety/stress or just take the time? My superiors do not know that I suffer from anxiety (and depression) and I'd rather keep it that way -- I perform as well as anyone else so I don't think they need to know.[/QUOTE]



Hey Mouse62,


I feel what you are going through and it does seem as if nobody cares how much effort you put in to do stuff. They react that way because they expect you'll pull their wieght and if you take a day to slack off you here Bi***ing around the office about your job performance.

It stinks but that is today's work environment. It seems we are having less team work and more teams building an empire of hate others around work with certain employees.

Go see your family Dr. to see what they say...Sometime off may be a good choice.
:cool: [QUOTE=mouse62]I left before 4 pm past Friday and felt fine all weekend, but dreading coming here (work) -- now I've been here over 4 hours and starting to feel like doo-doo all over again. What is it about being in the office that sucks all of the life and vitality out of me, and my natural spontaneous self, and leaves behind this anxious creature, alienated, thinking that they are all a bunch of creeps out to get me in trouble any way they can? I was bored but relaxed at home -- I HAVE a life dammit -- this job interferes with my life!!! HA hA hA I wouldn't have much of a life without this job, no money -- catch 22.

I took my normal dose of Xanax this morning (.25). I am just finding it harder and harder to "fake it" here. It is boring but NOT relaxing -- it is boring and stressful because everyone is always competing and you can't trust anyone!!!

Why do we as a society (I'm from the U.S.) persist in the myth that ABUNDANCE is all around us and we never have to stay at a job we don't like, we can pursue our dreams -- when the reality is that life without a job, unless you are very well-off by other means, is just an endless scrounging for the next month's rent and eating Ramen soup and worrying so much that you can't be creative (I'm another wannabe writer) . . . and that it's almost impossible to find a good job right now?

so I keep this job and it stresses me out, then I think I'm a BAD person for coming on these Boards to vent when I should be all WORK WORK WORK --

and the lack of team spirit here (at work) REALLY stinks.

OK I'm sorry I have rambled -- I'll be very specific on this anxiety topic -- the people here are so competitive that, even though we all have a lot of vacation/personal and sick time, NO ONE save myself and one other woman has taken a day yet in 2004. I REALLY feel I need a "de-stress" day or two maybe at the beginning of March. I'd even like to make it a sick day, because as far as I'm concerned it's a sickness. Then the people here act all snooty like I am a slacker. This place is CRACKED. But they make a lot of money, and I make decent money working for them, that's why I stay. But I want that stress time off. I already have 5 vacation days scheduled & approved for August. I have 5 more vacation, 1 personal, and at least 9 sick days left. What would you do? Work through the anxiety/stress or just take the time? My superiors do not know that I suffer from anxiety (and depression) and I'd rather keep it that way -- I perform as well as anyone else so I don't think they need to know.[/QUOTE]
First of all to you enjoy the line of work you are in? I myself have had many jobs and have felt the same way as you. It makes no sense about having a life. I used to work to make money to get out and have a life, but I ended up not having a life due to work. You said you were a spontanious person. right? I just saw a movie similar to what you are saying, Ihtink you should defenitely watch it. It is called Lucky 7 . It is a new release. I love it because it has a good point to the story as in terms of working. I dont know what kind of payments you have but maybe you should look for something different. Be spontanious. Keep on reaching your dream of becoming a writer. Dont give up on that one. I would rather go through life broke and happy than going through it rich and depressed. Let me know more about ya. I am curious.





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