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(long sorry... I just have so much to ask and say at once :rolleyes: )

I've never once brought anxiety up to any doctor because I'm to scared to. Plus everyone (including my husband) thinks I'm just extremely shy and I haven't tried hard enough to get rid of it on my own before going to a doctor. The only person to even mention it as anxiety and not just shyness (besides seeing so much on TV ads), is my new neighbor. She says the opposite of everyone else and says pills will help. She's on anti-depressents and her best friend has extreme anxiety and takes pills for it. She's insisting I go to the doctor about it.

Well, she's finally convinced me to do it, but how do I bring up the subject and talk about it? And how do I explain waiting this long to say anything? Also would the pills even help me? Is there a pill you can take once in a while for just the most dreaded situations- and maybe counceling or alternative ways for everything else so I'm not so dependent on drugs? I also don't want other worse side effects if I choose the pill so which one is safer? Please help...


Here's some stuff about me if needed :)

I've been shy ever since I can remember. My earliest memories were elemetary school teachers telling my parents I was not participating in class and instead doing my own things like drawing. I can also remember hiding behind my parents or close friends (when I had any) whenever I was around anyone. I've never liked talking on phones, talking face on, or having to be around people period- especially lots of them at once - even if it was people I do know like family. I have very few friends because of this- all of these friends are people who confront me first. Once I hit around 17 years of age, I wanted to become more independent and I tried my best to "come out of my shell" by forcing myself into situations I hated and trying to deal with it. Well I'm still doing that to this day and I'm now 25. I've improved a tiny bit from what I had been before 17, but that "improvement" is the fact I just try to look away from people and pretend they don't exist... and I write down what I'm going to say word for word before initiating any conversation on the phone- and let the answering machine pick up if it's someone I don't know calling me. So it's not actually solving my problem.

Now the holidays are coming up again and I'm dreading it because my husband's side of the family likes to have huge family get togethers and I always end up sitting by myself in a corner hoping no one talks to me and counting every minute waiting for everyone to go home. This has been happening for 3 years now and every year my husband tries to explain why I'm so anti-social. For our wedding it was "normal wedding anxiety", for family get togethers it is "she doesn't feel good" or "she's not used to everyone yet". He also gives similar explanations when out with friends at a restaurant or other activities. It makes it worse when people ask about me because then there's even more pressure on me than if they'd just ignore me and the fact I don't talk to them. And if I avoid the situations completely then who knows what they'll think of me then. I'm also trying to find a real career job now and being extremely shy isn't helping at all. I'd give anything to be normal and be able to communicate with people without shutting down into my own world... but trying to do anything to change into that only makes me think about the problem even more and makes it worse instead of helping...
Hi linaii, it is so funny, well not funny, but your post is exactly why I come to this forum, so that I can feel not alone in this world. Reading your post was positively the most relieving thing that I've read today, because its me in a nutshell. I'm glad I clicked on your post, because I feel like I am going through EXACTLY the same thing that you are going through.

I too was an extremely shy child. I used to cling to my mother when she would take me to 1st grade, and I still remember that they would have to lay me down on a mat and I would just lay and cry so hard at school when she left. She passed away when I was 12, so the shyness for me never really went away, because I depended on her almost for "moral" support and a shoulder to lean on when I was scared.

I too never like to talk on the phone, contact people (even family) and do have anxiety over social situations. I always have anxiety before the holidays, or especially if we have a party to attend. Its crazy to me because down deep I feel like this behavior of mine is totally opposite of my "real" personality. My husband also has to make up excuses for me. Being around his family is almost always very stressful for me, because they too have large social gatherings and I end up just sitting there like an idiot while they have converstations about normal life. I find myself feeling left out and then I get resentful, but I know its my fault... Shoot, my husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 7, how long should I feel left out???? Why am I so antisocial??? I HATE this part of myself, and I too have seriously been thinking about seeing a doctor. I also didn't feel comfortable saying "oh doc, by the way, I think I have social anxiety, i'm kinda depressed, can't sleep sometimes blah blah blah.... give me some medication! I really don't want to be put on medicine either, like you, but I am starting to feel desperate. I'm 28 and I too am tired of feeling this way. Why can't i feel normal in social/family situations. I'm so tired of thinking about it, that when I go to his families house, i feel like i'm being fake when I try to come out of my shell. And what makes it worse is I think they can feel that from me, or either I obsess about what their thinking.... ITS SO EXHAUSTING.

Something has to give. My husband always tells me constantly your such a good person and you have such a good personality why don't you let people see that???? My answer, I DON'T know. I've just always had this problem.

Please let me know how your doing. [COLOR=Red]{REMOVED}[/COLOR]





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