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This is a good topic because so many of us can relate and get it off of our chests. I've always had generalized anxiety, and in my early teens, I developed a fear of vomiting, or emetophobia. That, as well as the stress from growing up in an alcoholic household caused me constant anxiety and panic attacks. Years went by of fluctuating between being an honor student and not going to school at all. It depended how medicated I was, but then, of course, I developed a dependence on Klonopin, and went through months of hell trying to stop that after repeated attempts. Finally, after many more months of torturous withdrawal, I was free from the drug, but I was so behind in high school, I dropped out. After another year or so of meds, I stopped them completely and was able to learn how to stop my panic attacks. Or at least keep them under control almost completely. My anxiety level was mediocre, I found that I WASN'T that depressed without medication, and was doing pretty well. Then, BAM! One day I woke up nauseous, and then had vertigo, and then had the dizzies and vertigo for nine straight months. I had an inner ear disorder, and that scared the hell out of me. I still think I was meant to have it to help me get over my fear of vomiting, which I have never been completely over. I never did vomit, but heaved and was nauseous 24 hours a day. I'm still scared to throw up, but not nearly as much. Since then though, I've been sick. I developed a Chronic Fatigue-like illness and a million and one other problems that also FORCED me to confront things I was anxious about. So many of us are afraid of embarassing ourselves in public by fainting, panicking, or generally making fools of ourselves. Well, I did all of the above. I have since then fainted SEVERAL times in public from extremely low blood sugar, and constant low blood pressure. It was terrifying because of the feelings that come with low blood sugar, and terribly embarassing. You would think that it would've helped me get OVER the fear of those things happening in public, but it only worsened my fear of going out, because my health is so cruddy, and I'm afraid it's going to happen again. So, those 8 or 9 times a day panic attacks are coming back, although not as severe, and definitely not as often. Once every couple of weeks I'll get a panic attack, and experience anxiety almost EVERY time I go out into public now, again. But, I have FAITH that I WILL get over the anxiety again, like before. My only problem now is that my adrenals are insufficient, and I PHYSICALLY can't handle any stress. So, here's MY list of what I'm anxious over. Sorry for the long story, I just felt that it was important for me to share it because it shows that you CAN overcome panic attacks/anxiety. And if they come back, you can beat them again.

~I'm worried that I'll be too sick to have children (I'm 20 now, and don't want kids yet, but definitely in the future)
~I'm worried that I won't ever have the strength to leave my abusive, jerky boyfriend, and I'll end up like my mom who was married to one of those men for 20 years.
~I'm worried about being all alone and not in a relationship
~I'm worried that I'll never be able to get better
~I'm scared of fainting again in public (or, even scarier, going into anaphylactic shock in public again)
~I'm scared I'll never love anyone as much as my current boyfriend
~I'm still SOMEWHAT scared of vomiting
~I'm afraid of losing control
~I'm worried that I'll never be able to work and function "normally"
~I'm worred about all my medical bills, and because I have no car insurance now

Take care everyone :wave:
~Katalina
I am a constant worrier,,,therefore I have anxiety about a lot of things. Sometimes my health,,,but more so other people's health,,,,and SO much anxiety about family problems and issues.
I'm on Lorazapam and take it daily,,,I 'need' to know I have that little bottle with me all of the time,,,that causes me anxiety too *grin*
Leah





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