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Anxiety Message Board

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Just a quick story about me. Hopefully someone can shed light on the situation. SInce i was young I was shy. I missed out on so much because of it and my self esteem went down the drain. I hit high school and wooo mama I went the complete opposite, crazy wild. In my twenties I was still very outgoing, partied allot but would get panic attacks after I had my childern. I thought I was dying, was taken to the ER countless times, put on xanax, i was too affraid at the time to take it. hahah

Moving on to my thirtys, found out i had grave disease and was misdiagnosed for many years, probably contributed to my anxiety. Had radiation to my thyroid and i was very sick for about one year. I got so sick, so anxiety ridden, my body was going nuts it was horriable. Now Im ok, just moved into a new place. Husband got very ill, almost died, more anxiety. He's ok, but i feel like im reverting back to the shy child.

It has effected my job totally. Ive know i can do a good job, ive been blessed with people who believe in me but I dont believe in me anymore. I havent worked for a year because Im affriad I will have a panic attack on the new job and people will think Im weird. If i go into malls or big places I find myself worrying about having a panic attack. Its viciouis cycle.

I want to live life! I want the old me back. I will be out having fun and all of a sudden i feel nauseated and light headed, i feel like one of my legs is about to give out. I try and remain calm but just want to go home. I am on zoloft but it doesnt seem to help much. or maybe it is and Id be more a mess than if i wasnt.

Do those symptoms sound like anxiety? I guess in the back of my mind Im so affraid im going to get sick again and its holding me back. Any suggestions how I can get myself back on track. Ive noticed if I have afew drinks Im find and feel good and outgoing. Im not going to turn into a heavy drinker just to feel normal, that has to many problems, but it showed me it must be panic if when im out drinking im fine i dont think about the what if's!

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