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Anxiety Message Board

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Hey dragonfly,

Ive never taken any tablets for my problems. Ive not even mentoned it to my doctor. I just seem to put up with it which is stupid i know!

I too find it really hard to get close to someone and start a relationship. This was my first "real" relationship and I would never of got with my her unless she asked me out.

You wrote:

"Its not like I couldnt find anyone, I do like to have crushes on guys and all but when the situation becomes a reality..I get scared and push the person away saying I dont want to be in a relationship when part of me really does."

That is exactly the same for me! I couldnt have wrote it better myself! (except for girls and not guys) lol

I say i dont want to be in relationships when i do. I want to go out with girls and do stuff together but i end up making an excuse and push them away and then its another chance missed! Its like I want things to work out but I dont want to be feeling nervous and sick so then I turn girls away so i can go back to not feeling like this.

I have tried to figure out what or why i end up feeling nervous and sick and back out and these are things that i come up with:

- I dont want to get into a relationship and then not "live up" to her expectatons.

- I dont want to make a idiot of myself and scare her off.

Thats about all i ever come up with. Theres stupid stuff as well like: what if im a bad kisser and stuff like that.

I told my ex that when i thought of her and when i was with her that i always felt nervous and had this strange feeling like i was scarred of you. She thought it was funny which made me relax a bit i suppose. We broke up after about 4 months. (nothing to do with anxiety stuff)

I once heard this saying that goes "Fear is Temporary, Regret is Permenant" I am going to start living to this. If i meet a girl that i like rather than pushing her away and regreting it, i am going to face the initial fear and go for it.

I am a sort of shy person when it comes to meeting new people, but when im out with mates if not shy or quite at all.

Does any of this make sense to you? Ive never found anyone else who feels like i do. Theres a lot of other stuff that i feel but i cant figure out how to put it into words! If you know what i mean.

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