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I am Allure, 30, french speaking, from Montreal. I suffer from depersonalization ( I don't feel like myself) and derealization since 2 years, exactly since my delivery... I had a cesarean, and when they gave me anesthesia, I had trouble to breathe, so I thought I was having a lack of oxygen to the brain. But my oxygen levels were Ok. I had a oxygen mask because I was really in panic, and they gave me [B]Versed [/B] to calm me. Since I exit the hospital, I felt strange, like people and surrounding were not exactly familiar to me. I saw like in 2-D, and felt like if I was drugged. I felt not part of the world, and it frigtened me. I must say that I didn't sleep in 4 days at the hospital, because of breast-feeding who didn't work.

It's been 2 years since I have this problem, I saw many doctors here, psychiatrists, psychologists..... and I am desesperate. Very depressed. I can't work because of that, I have memory problems, I feel confusion (memory disturbances) each time I change from a place to another, I feel time lapses, it's horrible.

My diagnoses went from panic attacks, depression, anxiety, hyperventilation, to depersonalization disorder, and maybe now, temporal lobe epilepsy.

I am at the end of my rope. I tried many SSRI's and all benzos, and it never helped really. I can't thought side effects too. The more I thoughed is 3 months (Paxil). I am currenty on Klonopin 0,5 mg since 2 years, sometimes 1 mg, but it just gives me more confusion. The only thing that stop derealization 95 % is sleep pill, but after it makes me more depressed, and dp come back.

I am afraid of meds like hell, I have read a lot about all that, I know very much about all kinds of meds. I may try Lamictal, but the first time I tried it I throwed up. :confused:

Any intelligent advice would be appreciated.

From a mommy who had enough pain. :(

Allure :confused:

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