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Board Index > Anxiety | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Hi, MMS1! :)
I'm not taking laxapro but just started on Zoloft 12.5MG. I'm a 30 y/o female & I've had anxiety for 2 years now that recently turned into panic attacks on top of the anxiety. Mine I think all started over a neck injury I had a while back. It was so bad that I became house bound and then I got help from a Chiropractor with my neck & all the pain went away. My neck has been fine since. But because I waited so long to find out what was wrong with me I started having anxiety. The anxiety stayed with me even though my neck was ok. Around that same time my sisters son died. My Dad had had Lung cancer for 3 years & my mom started having heart troubles, heart attacks, etc.. So, I gave up my life and moved in with my parents to help take care of them since I'm single with no children I figured it would be the best thing to do. I've been listening to Doctors tell me that my Dad only has 2 months to live for the last 3 years. His condition is pretty bad & now at all hours of the day and night I'm running around the house giving my Mom nitro, asperin, oxigen & giving my Dad pain pills & oxigen. I think being here seeing them in so much pain for so long has made me start having the panic attacks. It's so nerve racking! I love them very much but I'm looooossinngg it (my mind) here!! About once or twice a year I've taken a trip to visit my friends & I've NEVER felt anxiety or panic when I'm there which kind of shows me that though I've been told I have general anxiety with panic that mine is more situational anxiety (my situation at home). I feel SOOO guilty when I think about moving back around my friends again & since the panic attacks I'm scared to drive, sometimes even just to go out side is hard for me (this is recent). Should I just go... move away and try to regain myself. My life before I came here was FULL of friends (almost too many) FULL of excitement, I was busy doing something with someone all the time & loved it! I had a great job there where I worked along side my bestfriend which was so much fun! Now, I don't have a job.. I'm just too freaked out that I'll have a panic attack. Anyway, that's my story... I understand a lot of what you're feeling. Almost like you can't find enough faith in medicine that it WILL work for YOU but then again you wonder if it WILL & how great it would be! In the past I only took xanax when I needed it once in a while.. But the panic attacks have sent me to the Doctor. I tried Paxil & it didn't work for me (they started me on too high of a dose 20MG then 40MG a day - I weigh 107 pounds!) So, I had bad effects (muscle cramps, hot flashes, etc) on it though I know lots of people who are great on it. It was just not for me. So, I tried Zoloft a while back. Started on 25MG & went to 50MG. I felt great! No anxiety the whole time! till the last week (week 4) I started to talk fast VERY excited kind of fast for no reason.. It was kind of funny to me but none the less not a good thing even though I still did not feel ANY anxiety or panic at all. So, I stopped cold turkey. I didn't really feel any bad withdrawl. and for another month didn't feel any anxiety or panic. My friends came down and picked me up.. I stayed with them for 3 weeks & had a GREAT time... I felt like my old self again. I came back home & then it came again. First I had a panic attack around 11:00pm one night. It was the worst one I'd ever had. Could it be this place? being here in this situation.. Part of me wants to move on & get married, make a life of my own but I feel like I'd be a terrible person for leaving my parents in this condition... So, I waited the panic attack out... Having one of those causes me to have anxiety & worry about when the next one will be... So, the anxiety creeped back into my life & yet another panic attack. I went back to the GP doctor determined to get help for this. We talked about all the options & he said I should see a psychiatrist & get med's & therapy to learn to deal with this, to face it. Learn relaxation, breathing & taking baby steps to help "re"program my mind so to speak. He said therapy with meds is much better help than meds alone. Plus it would be nice to just be able to VENT all these emotions I have with someone who might be able to help me get to the root of the problem. Since the Zoloft made me feel better before I decided to go on it again. I told him about the whole over excited talking thing & he said the other doctors gave me too many MG to start on for my body size and weight. So, as of 5/20/05 I've been on 12.5MG Zoloft. I felt a little better though it was mild the first day. The next morning I had an anxiety attack BUT it was very short & no where near as bad. I do have a LOT of stress in my life right now though having to help so many other people with so many things so, I've had anxiety the last couple of days. I'm not sure if it's from the meds or my life? Either way, as much as I worry that it (zoloft) might not help me I AM going to give it my all trying. I have so many things to be thankful for in my life & I'm not giving up on myself. I can hear it in your words too... that you're unsure of going the distance with the meds & giving it a full shot. I hear a lot of "what if" thinking & fears you seem to be having... You just have to go for it! I know you feel down right now & that you don't have much fight left in you but you DO! You just gotta keep saying it over & over to yourself. No matter what anyone else in your life says, YOU CAN & YOU WILL make it through it. With the lexipro it seems to take up to a couple of weeks.. But just think... all the time you've lost feeling the way you do.. stuck in a human shell that doesn't feel like YOU anymore.. for so long now.. What's 2 or even 3 more weeks? I know even a second of the anxiety feels like the end of the world because I feel it too.. but in just a few short weeks of sticking with the meds, you can wake up happy... slowly day by day take your life back.. then soon before you know it your feers will fade, your life will be better. Don't worry about being put into a hospital "if" it don't work for you.. Don't worry about all the things I know you probably do because it's just the "what if" thinking pushing you backward. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, etc.. Just focus your energy on right now... One day at a time.. Baby steps forward. It might sound too hard but you can do it... Try taking a nice bubble bath with your favorite relaxing music playing, turn the lights down & void out all the stress around you. Let everyone in the house know that it's YOUR quiet time to relax. To not think and ponder anything.. To just be in that moment.. Sing, relax, breathe, enjoy it.. It helps me a lot. Everyone needs "me" time. It's good to have an hour or so a day to clear your head in a relaxing way. Something else that is great is massage. Let your massage therapist know that you don't want to talk (some will talk your head off... lol). Let them know you just want to relax, be blank for a while & enjoy the physical & mental pleasure of the massage. Just close your eyes and drift away.... They'll play relaxing music, use scented oils, some will burn candles & have low light. I feel so at peace with myself and the world when I get a massage. I prefer a deeper tissue massage because it helps get the stress & anxiouse feeling out of all of my muscles better than the light massages... By the time I leave I feel like a new person. I don't go as often as I should because of the fear of driving but if you have someone to take you I'd go once a week.
You'll be amazed at how much it helps! Yogo is another option, again, you'll need to let everyone know it's your quiet time... If your emotions & anxiety get too bad just write it all down on paper and think of it as the place you dump your load of stress to get it out of your head and make room for better thoughts then put the notebook away as a way of putting your stress & fears away. You can always go back to it to vent as needed. There's a book I read a few pages of every day called, "Don't sweat the small stuff". It has a lot of good points in it & prespectives different from my own that help me to realize (what ever IT might be at that time) is not that bad after all.... We just gotta try all that we can. Never give up on yourself.... You can make it through a few weeks of the meds to get to a better place. At least then you can find comfort in knowing that you gave it your all. If it's not the one for you after 6 weeks then move on and try something else till you do find the one that's right for "you"....... Hang in there.... Relax... Slow deep Breaths... baby steps... Listen to yourself for the "what if" thinking and realize that that's all it is... Thoughts & fears.. Change the thought process... think of something else.. something that used to make you happy & don't let "what if" thinking hold YOU back from getting better. I'm on that same path right now too and I know we can do it... Say it over & over... YOU CAN over come this.. YOU CAN make it through the first few weeks of the meds.... In just a few weeks you can be there...
:) I wish you well.... Take care & God be with you...

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