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Anxiety Message Board


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Starz,
I can relate, I have been anxious since I was just a little girl. For me, it seemed to take its form in certain phobias when I was younger.
I was afraid of toilets at one point, the school guidance counselor, the earphone center, missing the school bus, my parents leaving me at night, rapists, witches, and one particular one I remember was being afraid that a girl who died of cancer in our school would come back and haunt me/attack me in my room at night. In middle school I was sexually harassed many times by certain boys and would not speak up which was awful. I somehow felt I deserved it, and that I was in the wrong which was how I felt about my anxiety as a child.
I was always very shy and would not speak my mind. I would let my friends push me around and they frequently did. My mom would always get mad at me for being anxious which made it worse. So I noticed anxiety very early on, it probably started around age 4/5 when we moved from England to America and my little brother was born.
The unknown is a huge one, isn't it? I think that most of our fears stem from fear of the unknown. If I knew what was going to happen I would not be nearly so afraid of things!
As an adult my anxiety is easier to deal with because I can help myself and do not feel weak and powerless anymore. It's great to know people can relate!

When I am struggling with the fear of the unknown, I love listening to the song "let it be" by the beatles. The line "there will be an answer, let it be" really speaks to me. :)
I have had anxiety since I was in 5th grade and I can almost pinpoint the exact day it started but I do not know why...it was completely out of the blue. Unlike many people I didn't have any traumatic experiences or anything else out of the ordinary in my childhood. i was a little shy but probably not more so than most kids. The only thing is that I have always been extremely afraid of vomit - emetophobic.

I just remember all the sudden when i was 11 I got scared of riding the bus. i was afraid I would throw up on the bus. So I started taking a drink with me in my backpack every day in case I needed something to swallow - first it was pop, then it was water. Pretty soon I had to take my water bottle with me everywhere and I would panic without it. So I guess my anxiety stems from being afraid of throwing up, especially in public, and now it has progressed to more adult stuff (stress with jobs, etc). To this day I am still perplexed as to how this came about. I still remember being 100% fine and normal and anxiety free before the fifth grade, then all the sudden one day I was anxiety ridden. I missed 30 days of school that year. I'm 26 now.





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