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This may be long - thanks for reading. I was diagnosed with GAD with OC tendencies. I was on Luvox for awhile but then I got pregnant and stopped taking it. I was fine through my Pregnancy - no realy anxiety. Post-partum it slowly started coming back but wasen't that bad. Now - two months since I have weaned my DS I am really getting it back. I am miserable. I am constantly feeling like I could die from one ailiment or another. Or I am afraid I will die in a wreck or whatever. I also feel intense stress all day long. I tense up my facial muscles over and over again until I get really bad headaches. I cannot stop. No matter what I do. I am scared to go to sleep at night. I have to check in the closets and under the bed before I lay down. I cannot sleep with my back away from the wall. I also wake up during the night and have seen a weird black thing that is only there for a sec. then I must fully come awake, because I am so startled. Not sure if I am dreaming this or what. Starting to think there is a weird ghost or something hanging around me. Don't really want to tell this to anyone becasue they will think I am nuts. I do feel like I have "seen" ghosts before but they have been whiteish not blackish. Anyway, not sure if this is anxiety or the paranormal. I know I need to go back on meds but we cannot afford it. My insurance does not cover anything mental. My Psychiatrist that I went to before charges $200.00 per hour and want's an eval. each month. The meds are all around $100.00 per month. I don't know what to do. I have a 22 month old DS and I don't want him to get scared vibes from me. I would not like him to develop these fears. I would not wish them on my worst enemy.
Is there anything else I can do? Should I go on like this and just cope day to day. My Psy. said I have devolped great coping mechanims becasue I have been like this as long as I can remember. I am getting really sick of this. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I do not have panic attack BTW, just constant fear of death.
Thanks for reading. :angel:
When I was pregnant last year my anxiety was almost non-existent too. When it DID come back, it did it full barrels (as did many OCD's). I am sure I had a complete breakdown at some point because I had more anxious episodes then, than ever before in my life (and I'd had a previous breakdown). My doctors told me it was my hormones and that things would ease in about a year. It took me about 8 months to get it under control, with an attitude change and help from the occasional xanax.

Anxiety can certainly make you see things so you'll never know whether or not what you're seeing is from anxiety or the paranormal. I know people who have seen "black things" and thought they were ghosts, and these people do not suffer from anxiety. However you do have a fear of death, so a black ghostly image sounds about right for a good trick from your pal Anxiety.

If you have good coping skills then maybe you CAN get through this without medication. Just try to stay aware of which thoughts are yours and which are Anxiety's.
Thanks for the replys!! :)
I guess I could try and cope without meds. I am just getting really sick of this. I don't want to live my life afraid all of the time. I affects my relationships. I am afraid to fly so that puts a damper on trips to see family. My DH thinks I am nuts when I talk about seeing black things. He thinks that I should not talk like that, someday I could scare my DS. I has gotten to the point of me being afraid of going to bed at night. I tend to have a couple of glasses of wine at night before bed to relax. DH is starting to think I have a drinking problem. I would rather pop a Xanex then ruin my liver with alcohol. Anyway, this anxiety also transfers onto my DS. Last night I had a dream that he was dying of Lymphoma. I woke up after crying and crying in my dream and have not been able to shake that feeling. :confused: Grrr I hate this!! I am going to make an apt. with my reg. doctor. Not sure how we will swing the perscription cost. My ins. does not cover RX's either. Does anyone know some of the meds that work for this? Maybe I could look into prices before my apt. and see if my doc could give me the less expensive one. Do they have samples of this kind of thing?
Thanks for the help! :angel:

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