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well i saw a psychiatrist today and told him what i have been feeling and how my mind/body has been all out of wack.. told him about the thoughts about hurting my wife which started this whole thing.. and about how my thoughts have been off the wall ever since and how i have been so worried about being Schizo and how i have been hearing sounds/voices at night right before i fall asleep or while i am back and forth between sleep in the morning..

anyway here is what he said...

i am definitely suffering with anxiety and OCD (just the obsessive thinking)
he said the sounds/voices i am hearing when falling asleep or waking up are indeed Hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations and its nothing to worry about unless i am hearing things like that during the day when fully awake (which i am not) but i told him i was not sure if i was hearing them during the day because my thoughts are so loud and racing at times i cant even tell... his reply was " if you were hearing them during the day you would know" so that was a big load off my mind right there..

other then that i told him there was no way i could deal with a SSRI drug and about how they made me think suicidal thoughts and he didnt really think i needed one anyway.. he seems to think once i get the anxiety under control i should be able to deal with the obsessive thoughts without any AD meds..

in other words its the anxiety that is making me obsess about a thought that in a calm state i would just pass off as a "junk" thought.. which really makes sense to me because i usually dont have the racing weird obsessive thoughts unless i am anxious or having a panic attack..

he gave me a script for xanax and wants me to try taking it for a week and see how i feel before we try anything else..

so i guess in a way this is good news because now that i know its anxiety/obsessive thinking for sure i can stop worring that its something else.. or at least try to ;)

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