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jewell~I have read many of your posts and found them to be quite helpful. I have taken Ativan for many of the same issues that you have taken Xanax. There are some things I can do without the Ativan~and some I cant. But you know what? I think it's ok. For some reason~there is a general acceptance of SSRI's but a stigma attached to using a benzo. I tried Lexapro last year~It helped some BUT~I also gained almost 15 lbs~was shedding hair like a cat and slept too much. Luckily I have not had any of that happen on Ativan. Panic and anxiety can make our lives so miserable. The worry of another attack is a good reason to take what we have that helps us. I beat myself up for so long about Ativan(as needed). Now I take it to PREVENT what I KNOW will trigger an attack. I would rather take it and go on about my daily business than sweat bullets while waiting to see if an attack is eminent. I am a hyper person and Ativan slows me down. I (like you) and many others long for the days I did not need it. But the truth is as we age our bodies(and minds) go thru many changes of which we have no control over. My thyroid crashed and I also developed high BP. These affected my nerves and made me have anxiety. I was influenced by your experince with Xanax and it sounds like it works even BETTER than my Ativan. But I have never had a doc offer it to me. We should take what works for us and not feel guilty about it. Like you~I used my Ativan for my last haircut. I have very long thick hair and it takes a long time to cut it. Last year I sat in a chair almost an hour while a new stlyist cut it(without Ativan) and I was beside myself. I almost had to leave the shop~but somehow managed to get thru it. I will never do that to myself again. I think our docs know if we are addictive personalities and would not give us a benzo if they thought we would over do it. I guess what Im trying to say is we should take what works. Look at all the people in this world that drink and abuse drugs to cope with their problems. Taking a little benzo from the doctor is far surperior to that imo. That said~I am hoping there are new meds on the horizon for people like us. I just want to feel calm like everyone else does. Dont be so hard on yourself. You seem very level headed to me!
take care~hope I helped a little!
RR :)





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