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Hi :wave: ,
I am so glad I have found these forums as I've already read some posts that make me feel a lot better about my anxiety problems and highlights that its more common than i thought. I am 24 years old and have been suffering since the age of about 15 from what i think is social anxiety and situational anxiety. I am also a musician and performer and feel less nerves in the build up to going on stage than i used to, through mental conditioning and confidence in what i do. It is once I finish a gig and have a drink that i begin to feel nausea and have to cut a conversation short to go and vomit, after which things are fine. So it isn't stage nerves! It is common for me to not be able to eat before playing a show, unless I give it a good few hours before playing and go away and eat by myself somewhere where I can relax.
I cant remember when it started or how it started but it feels like its been with me as long as i can recall and its miserable. What generally happens to me is when I'm out at a restaraunt or even just at someones place for dinner with friends or a date (reason for more nerves) I feel nausea and usually have to leave for the bathroom and vomit. I can feel straight away the the onset of my anxiety. In fact i cant remember many times I've eaten socially with friends without this happening, the fear of an episode when i know a possible trigger is looming makes it almost inevitable. It can also happen at the pub or even at someones house again after even one drink if I start to feel a little anxious the situation will snowball as I fear another episode in turn bringing on the vomiting. Generally once I've been sick things can carry on as normal in the night if alcohol is involved and as you would guess I'll get very drunk due to the stomach i have thrown up. So once I've been sick and had the anxiety episode I seem to be able to socialise a lot better. It can be entirely sporadic as sometimes I seem to be able to deal with the situation fine, but maybe only 20% of the time at best. The hardest thing about my problem is that I've read a lot about fear and anxiety since the age of 18 to try and improve my life and be able to enjoy these social pleasures without any worry. Its a horrible feeling often choosing not to go out with friends or avoid certain places so that I can keep some food down :rolleyes: . Unfortunately none of the reading has really helped even though the advice is very easy to take on board. I've tried to take the advice on board and calm the nerves, it even happens around best friends and people i trust fully and have no reason to be nervous around. It can happen 3 days in a row sometimes, like for example a big weekend out and it can sometimes leave me feeling very sick due to the vomiting and can take a few days to return to normal eating again because then I am anxious about not being able to eat and hold the food down for my own health (and this is when alone at home trying to recover). A few of my close friends know I have this problem but i dont know if they understand the extent of it as I've never told them fully about it. Does anyone else here feel like this and struggle to enjoy a full healthy social life as a result?? I dont let it stop me trying to enjoy things but by marching head on through this and just accepting it as part of me I may be damaging my health further I dont know. Sorry this is such a long post, I really wish my anxiety if thats what it is would go away but I guess I might have to try and find the source that triggered this in my teenage years.
I have no idea what began my anxiety but life would be so much better without it! So am I suffering from some kind of social and situation anxiety?? If anyone feels like this and has advice I would be glad to hear it
Ditto " except sometimes I feel this way with people I know very well when eating or drinking, its maybe a fear of silence sometimes also..and yes that leads to being anxious about others' perception etc. I never really know if I'm going to feel confortable with my company until the moment comes, just have to take everything as it comes.

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