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Anxiety Message Board


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When I was a teenager, my boyfriend's nickname for me was "Miss Muffet," as in, the one who was scared away because a spider sat down beside her.

When I was in my 20's, an acquaintance said to me, "You're so filled with fear that it makes me want to just shake you!" Perhaps the shaking part was an expression used in her childhood home; she didn't attempt to do so.

About 5 years later, a close neighbor told me that if I didn't stop worrying, I would get an ulcer.

You get the picture.
But I didn't.
Because the way I felt was the way I had always felt.

Then I took Lexapro. Tremendous relief, but really bad side effects, like involuntarily clenching muscles (seems logical that someone who over-reacts to life would over-react to pharmaceuticals).

I'm on quite the coctail now, most of which does nothing for my presenting symptoms.
Except the anti-anxiety med.
I'm taking 0.5mg of Risperdal twice daily.
It's side effect is weight gain, and, fortunately, that's one area I can manage.
For a lot of reasons, it might not work for everyone, maybe not for most.
But it gives some hope of a cure; maybe there is something for my other uncontrollable and uncomfortable ways of being (e.g.: ADD, OCD, Depression).

Because the anxiety, at least, seems under control -- so why not other life-long problems?

I no longer wake up every morning with a feeling of dread that grabs my stomach and lungs.

I can't remember the last time I gasped at some innocent sound.

And even when my boss is letting me know all my perceived short-comings, the physical reaction is pretty much surpressed, so at least I'm not reacting to the reaction.





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