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Treetop,

I am very blessed, I thank God every morning and every night for helping me...I don't want to push my Religion off on anyone but I think my faith helped me a great deal also.
When I was really bad I carried three things with me at all times...my bottle of Xanax...although I would never take more than those 2 quarter MG's a day (I'm sure that was my OCD..it's such fun) :) the other two things were a picture of Saint Therese and a very small...and when I say small I mean no bigger than my pinkie fingernail....statue of The Infant of Prague..if you aren't the same Religion as I am you probably have no idea what that last item even is...but the thing is I felt like as long as I had those three things with me, I'd be okay and I always was.
I'm glad you felt blessed reading my story.

Bderozi,

Yes, I had ever physical symptom you can imagine...dizziness, shaking, pins and needles, numbness, headaches, chest pain, blurry vision and a host of other things.
The thing was with me, I never just had a headache I had a brain tumor, I never just had a sore throat I had throat cancer, I was never dizzy because my neck was out of place or I had water in my ears, I was having a stroke, I never had a pulled muscle, I was having a heart attack.
I've had a million heart attacks, cancer of ever part of my body, countless brain tumors and more strokes than I can count...of course I never had any of those things, it was all caused by the panic disorder and I also to some degree my OCD.

One thing I used to do and it's the worst thing you can EVER do, is look up your symptoms on the internet or worse still look things up in a medical book.
I have no idea where the medical book came from nobody in my family or my Husbands has any medical background at all...but my Husband threw it away and he told me if I didn't stop looking things up on the internet that he'd called the ISP and have our service shut off.
He just looked at me one day and said..."If you really did have one of the horrible things you think you have, you'd be dead by now...a heart attack doesn't last for months and neither does a stroke."
I knew he was right, so I stopped looking things up...when I would get a little pain or funny feeling I'd count backwards from 300...I know that sounds strange, but for some reason it worked...my Doctor said that it worked because I was so busy counting that I didn't have time to think about the pain or funny feeling.

I don't know if the counting would work for you or not, but it's worth a try.
I would imagine that I picked counting because of my OCD...I'm big into numbers and counting things...just a little off the story, but I have counted ever single set of stairs I have ever climbed...I even did that when I was a little girl.
If I go for a walk with someone in my head I'm counting the steps that I'm walking, but I'm talking to the person I'm walking with...and I never lose count, that's how much a part of me it is...I can talk and count in my head at the same time...oh the joys of OCD :D

But after I said all of that, if at anytime you get a pain or feeling that doesn't go away there's no shame in going to the ER or making an appointment with your Doctor...just becasue we have panic or anxiety problems doens't mean we can't get someting else...yes, nine times out of ten it'll be the panic disorder..but like they told me at the ER one time..."It's better to be safe than sorry." He said that 8 out of 10 people that come in with chest pain are having panic attacks but he told me to never feel silly coming there or going to see my Doctor, he said that's what they're there for.

I never had one single problem at all with the Xanax...I've heard some people say that it made them tired at first...I didn't even have that problem with it.
From the first pill I took all it ever did was help me...didn't make me feel spaced out, or stoned it just made me feel normal again and able to cope with things until I was strong enough to cope on my own.

Well, I see I've written another book...sorry about that, but when I get started I just can't stop :)





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