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Dragonflyzz- I started Zoloft, 25 mg, in the spring of sophomore year, at age 15, before I knew what was wrong with me. The doctor said that it sounded like "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" (which, I do have, but it's so intertwined with my OCD, that it barely shows), and that the Zoloft would help. It did, for a whole year, until the end of my junior year, almost exactly one year after I started- I think I was on 50-75 mg by then, though. I just began to feel like a zombie, and I could barely function- completing homework was impossible... :rolleyes: Anyway, they put me on Lexapro rather than Zoloft last August (I think 5 mg), because of th extreme tiredness, and my mother takes it for depression, so they thought the genetics would work. Yeah, well, that couldn't have been further from the truth. Lexapro made me feel like a zombie...but ten times worse than the Zoloft, not including that it also made me more anxious, made my OCD worse, and actually made me feel depressed (I don't have depression). :nono: So, around January or so, I stopped the stupid Lexapro and started back on Zoloft- 100 mg. The increase did help me, but they kept thinking that the panic attacks could go away with more...they didn't. That's when I started Ativan, but I only took it a total of four times in the four months I had it because I was deathly afraid of addiction from benzodiazepines. Then, this past October, my freshman year of college (not been easy- I don't adjust well to change, so stress has been high, and I've been worrying about everything...except for the typical things like "homesickness" and being on my own ;) ), I began seeing the school psychiatrist, who weaned me off of the Zoloft, and began me on Prozac, 20 mg, which was increased to my current 40 mg slowly. He also gave me Klonopin, 0.5 mg, the first medication that actually took away my panic attack (used it for the first time when I went to the dentist, the time I get the worst panic, so I was amazed) that I could take as often as I wanted, so I took it usually once a day. I also started 25 mg of Lamictal, which I'm increasing to 50 today, and 100 in two weeks. It's long been suspected by my doctors and myself that I have cyclothymia and mild hypomania- I've always been moody, ever since age four, the kid who would literally be miserable and talking back one minute and laughing giddily the next. So, the last stage in my long medication story is, that last Tuesday, I had another breakdown because I couldn't do any of my homework because I was sooo tired from the Klonopin, and yet, if I didn't take the Klonopin, I couldn't function- talk about the proverbial double-edged sword. I then got my prescription filled for a Klonopin wafer, 0.125 mg, that the psychiatrist had given me but I was waiting to fill when I go home for Thanksgiving. Well, it's really great because it's fast-acting to get rid of my intense morning panic attacks before classes start, it doesn't make me tired, and it doesn't work all day long, so it doesn't completely get rid of all of my panic attacks. For example, if I take it at nine o'clock in the morning, but then have a panic attack at 1, I'll still have the one o'clock panic attack, which is actually ideal. My morning panic attacks are usually the worst, and though it sounds strange, I would never want to completely stop having panic attacks. They've been with me for 15 years, since 3 years old, and I honestly wouldn't know how to react if I didn't have them; as sad as it is, they're a part of me, and probably will be for the rest of my life. It's the same with my OCD- you can't "cure" either condition, but they're manageable with meds and therapy. I'm going to have obsessions the rest of my life as well as panic attacks, and it really is the best of both worlds- with treatment, I'll learn to ignore my anxiety, not be incapacitated by it, but yet, anxiety is WHO I am. It has defined me for my whole life, and I'll always be neurotic and an obsessive-compulsive, but the difference is that, like in bipolar disorder, the underlying condition will still be there, but the medication controls the symptoms. I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-





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