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Anxiety Message Board

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Hello Everyone,
I usually post on the depression board because that's my major problem right now. However, anxiety, panic attacks and depression go hand and hand with me. I noticed the anxiety and panic attacks first and that was 21 years ago. It came from out of the blue. I woke up during the night shaking and hyperventilating. I already had two small kids but I was living at my parent's home. My dad woke up and talked me through the hyperventilating and it was followed with my first panic attack. My whole life changed that night and has never been the same since.

You have to keep in mind, at that time anything to do with mental illness had a stigma attached to it. People just didn't talk about it much. Mean while, after that first bout I went to bed and wouldn't get up except to go to the restroom. Taking a shower and just personal hygiene was extremely hard for me. I know this was partly depression but at the time I hadn't thought of that yet. My parents watched my kids and I stayed in my room and refused food for three weeks. I did drink water. My Dr. at the time put me on vailium (it was just coming on the scene then.) I still didn't do very well. I was in terror of all the feelings that were so new to me. I ended up in the hospital for nearly a month and was sent home on valium and librium both. I got counseling and started to improve a little. I started taking my kids places and going out with some of my friends but through it all I would have a panic attack or general anxiety much of the time.

I went to several "shrinks" and didn't get much help but I finally found one that seemed to tune right into my symptoms. I saw her once a week for almost a year. She put me on 1mg xanx (which was new at the time)four times a day. 25 mgs of librium two times a day and elavil. Elavil was my first AD and it's very old but to this day I still take it. I am up to 200 mgs at bedtime. The depression was there all along and it was at this point I had to deal with it to function at all. I just started Lexapro and have hopes it will help me. Basically, for the last 20 years this has been my life. I want to feel "normal" again and go about my life the way I see other's doing. This is a small portion of what has happened but I couldn't possibly put it all down here or every one of you would fall asleep reading it. lol I do know there is help and I'm going to find it. Thanks for reading my boring intro. I really appreciate it.....Please Take Call All.....Connie

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