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I remember having my first panic attack, or something like it, at three, but I definitely know I had them by age five. I showed signs of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder at four, which increased at seven, and was full-blown OCD when I was eleven-and-a-half. I was just diagnosed with mild Asperger's last month, and since this disorder starts from birth, I've always shown my Asperger's eccentricities since two or three, and still have outbursts from sensory overload. Needless to say, all of my relatives thought I was "out-of-control"... I also have GAD, which is pretty much intertwined into my OCD. My mom and I always knew that I was a worrywart, but we didn't know how bad it was. I just always assumed that everyone had panic attacks when they were nervous. My mother made me go to the doctor and get on Zoloft when I was 15 because I was so irritable and stressed-out. (I didn't know it at the time, but I was acting that way because I was paralyzed with panic attacks and my OCD. The same symptoms re-occurred last year, when I was 17.) My old PCP who prescribed the Zoloft to me thought that I had "generalized anxiety", which I do, but since I didn't know about the other disorders' symptoms and couldn't properly express them, I didn't get a real diagnosis. Then, shortly after I started Zoloft, which did help me for awhile and got rid of my irritability, I started researching mental illness because it intensely interested me. That's how I stumbled across OCD, and I never thought I'd find an explanation for the period I went through at 12-13 that I called the "bad thoughts". Imagine my surprise when I read, "Do you have blasphemous, violent, and/or sexual thoughts that you find distressing, and that cause you anxiety? Do you repeat a phrase, confess, or pray to make the thought go away?" Since I'm a pure obsessional, OCD was never suspected because I'm not the stereotypical "hand-washer" or "checker". Now, I'm on Prozac and Lamictal, which I started due to possible cyclothymia, but I don't think I have cyclothymia anymore now that I know I have Asperger's- this explains the outbursts and constant mood shifts much better, especially since I've had them since a young child. I also take Klonopin for really bad panic attacks, but not every day, since I have panic attacks practically daily, and in some situations (like today, for example- have a test), I wouldn't know how to react if I DIDN'T have a panic attack. I'm currently in CBT, and going to possibly see a college-age Asperger's specialist in the fall. :angel:
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