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Reading the things you are all saying takes me back many years, but who could forget those feelings anyway??

It came out of the blue when I was 19. I woke up in the middle of the nigh hyperventilating. I was staying the night at my parent's home because I needed help with my new baby. I had both of my girls and was divorced by the age of 19. (hhmm...could be the cause). My dad got up when he heard me running through the house. I had never hyperventalated before and I was terrorized. He managed to get me to lay down and slow my breathing. From then on my life was never the same.

During my visits to my psychiatrist, I was also Dx'd with depression. The Dr. put me on valium for anxiety and amiltriptyline for depression. Soon after that I started getting the feeling that things weren't real. Sounds were so loud. I explained it as "hearing too well). I only went out when I had to. The moving of a car seemed to make things worse. I wasn't sure if it was the car or me that wasn't real. I couldn't look out the windows at all. The only way I could sleep at night is if my dad was sitting by my bed. I felt so guilty because my mom was watching my kids all the time. The love I had for them was so deep and I couldn't take care of them. Finally, I ended up in bed. I didn't eat for three weeks but I did drink water and juice. I had a brother and sister still at home and I felt I was tearing the whole family up, although, no one evrer complained. Finally, I was hospitalized and was on the psychiatric ward for a month. It was actually a good experience and I saw a therapist every single day. One that ward the patients didn't lay in bed. We got up, made our beds, took showers, and went to the day room for meals.

When I was released, I felt much better. No more depersonalization or surreal feelings. Things went well for a little while and then my depression surfaced and that's something that stayed. The anxiety still bothers me once in a while. I am now on xanax for it, but depression seems to be the battle I fight daily now. I was just put on lexapro and still on 200mg's of amiltriptyline, also.

I wish everyone well in their search for a healthy and happy life. Take Care...Connie :wave:

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