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[QUOTE=ontheedge16]It's so scary I hate it soo much i think about it all the time. I get scared to get out the house. whenever i go to my boyfriends he wasnt me to walk to his friends house but i hate to i get so nervous cuz it feels like i'm not really there. I don't like going to the movies or the mall and to school cuz it feels so bad anyone feel like this and can i take meds for it???
Please i need advice?[/QUOTE]

I feel very out of body all the time - see my thread: "Is this Unusual?"

It's almost like I'm watching myself do things or dreaming them.
Or I get the feeling that I've done it before in exactly the same way.

I was prescribed paxil for anxiety - but it didn't help me.

I was also in therapy for a while but it also didn't help.

I haven't had any treatment beyond this.

You're not alone. Though I'm not sure if I have "Depersonalisation Syndrome".
I've actually not heard much about it.
[QUOTE=SteveGn]Ontheedge and Jess_son, The only time I've experienced the "derealization" is during a panic attack which means alot of other symptoms are happening at the same time. I have a question or two. Is your anxiety the sole result of not wanting the derealization or did the derealization begin only after you had experienced anxiety for other reasons? If your anxiety is only because of not wanting the derealization, what do you feel this derealization state would feel like if you had no concerns about it? Have you had any moments when you just said to yourself, "I'm not going to concern myself with this, I'm just going to relax and not resist". If so, did it cause you to feel any differently...more relaxed. Thanks, Steve[/QUOTE]


The first time I ever experienced derealization was at a late night diner with friends. I was 17 years old. We had went out to talk/snack and it was supposed to be fun - but I began listening to the sound of the ovens/cooks/doorbell/buzzers and I felt sort of sweaty around my neck and hands. I ignored it (not ever having felt this before) and assumed I was sleepy. But as I sat there, the food arrived, and I realized that when I was picking it up and eating it - I couldn't feel anything or taste it. Then the next thing I know my friends are asking me what's wrong and say that I look ill.

I asked them how long they'd been asking me that because all three looked very concerned/all the joyous chitchat had stopped and I knew something was wrong by the look on their faces. I then began panicking. Immediately I assumed something was either wrong with the food/there was carbon monoxide in the restaurant/ or my friends had laced my food with something. I had never felt this type of strange paranoia before (ever) either. I raced to the restroom and immediately began washing my hands but I couldn't feel the water on them. They were tingling (my hands-) and felt like I had 30 layer thick gloves on and the water felt like jello. I didn't have time to ask "What's wrong with me?" or cry or even react - it was like I was moving at the speed of a trapped animal.

Coming back to the table, we left rapidly and for weeks I had the same type of dreamy/hazy type experiences that would evolve into panic after I realized I was into them. It's crucial to remember that I'm subconsciously intrigued , so to speak, when the derealization begins - so I don't necessarily "sense" it coming on. I could just be sitting here talking and then somewhere mid-sentence realize that I don't feel like I'm there at all and begin second guessing myself and others.

I eventually got into therapy because it escalated to a degree of which I was terrified to go to sleep - convinced that something was wrong with me or was about to happen as if I were being informed by something otherworldly.

The therapist told me that I had anxiety and it was common and we began treatment and psychotherapy along with medication.

I was in therapy for about two years and it never stopped.

The medication helped with depression - but not anxiety and certainly not with the derealization.

There are times when I have just let it run its course on me ("I'm just having an episode, breathe deep, it'll go back to normal") and it doesn't seem to bother me. But I'm 24 years old now and I still feel it every week.
Sometimes every day of the week. Others not.
No matter how much I breathe or yoga or pray or try exercises to aid in the relief.

I've not found a way to become settled with it and "Okay" with it and it's really effecting the general way I live my life. I'm not even sure what started it - it's like that night in the diner changed my entire life.

I've become more reclusive and anti-social (something I never was) in fear of having the episodes again - even though they happen in my own house.
I can barely ride in cars and have stopped driving altogether. It's too surreal and makes me very very uncomfortable to the degree of wanting to jump out.
I get days confused. I think an event on one day happened on the one I'm in and it could have been weeks prior. I have constant CONSTANT feelings of deja-vu and paranoia.
I'm extremely untrustworthy even though I've said to myself 200 times that I know that no one is out to get to me. I can look a doctor in the eye and say, "I know that no one is out to get me - but in these moments, sometimes hours, I am convinced they are."

I actually feel like I am going crazy. Last year was pretty good.
I had a few weeks every now and then of total relief - without therapy or meds.
I felt good on my own. Little to no attacks...

But then it started back up.

I've began to fear that something more detrimental is wrong with me. Perhaps bipolar or schizophrenia. But then I've always heard that "If you think you're crazy, then you're not. Crazy people don't know they're crazy." However, I'm starting to doubt that saying.





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