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Anxiety Message Board

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I think i'v always had alot of stress and anxiety from a young age. I cant exactley remember the age but i know in primary school i used to stress out over the tiny projects we had to do and tests we had to take.

It was the same in high school too and its just how i am now. iIwould always stress about getting good grades. In high school, things were alittle better because i was getting the grades and i was confident and popular. But i also developed an eating disorder, so i had a few anxities about my body and food.

But my fears about my heart all kicked off when i was in first year of college (2001) and i took some diet pills (with ephedra) in our fasting month. I took it in the morning before i ate anything and suddenly my heart starting racing and i almost collapsed.
Since then i'v had this immense fear that my heart is messed up and i think i convinced myself that i had a weak heart. Anyway, that developed into a lot of chest pains and palpitations and missing heart beats and everything else associated with it.

I wasnt dagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder until last year when i had a nervous/mental breakdown and i thought i was going crazy. I was like that for months and it was like being in a horror movie, just thinking you were going to die all the time.

I'm alittle better now, at the mo theres no extreme feelings of going crazy but i am having a few late nights because i'm scared to fall asleep because of my heart. I get palpitations all the time and missing heart beats. I also find that i'm constantly jumping up gasping for breath when i'm lying in bed.
It doesnt help that i'v become overweight (due to medication for bipolar), because now i think i will defo have an heart attack.

I also get paranoid about getting certain illnesses, like if i watch a documentary i'll start to think that i have the illness. I also worry that my family might have the illness and i'll start to stress. [COLOR=Red]{REMOVED}[/COLOR]

The main thing that gets me anxious now is having bipolar and the future. I get scared when i think about going through what i experienced last year and i cant bare the thought of getting ill again and making my family suffer too. I also lost alot of friends and embarrassed myself too.
I'm very anxious about my future now too, so theres alot of rushing thoughts there.

I wish there was a magic cure for all this, but unfortuanley there isnt.

I hope everyone is doing ok, take care.


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