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eversince i became a mother i seem to worry alot more about everything.
for example...today my daughter wasnt feeling well. she has a slight cough and tells me the back of her mouth tickels... also a low grade fever wich went away when i gave her tylenol. ok so she caught a bug and will be ok by tommorw or the next day right?...not me! i am sitting here losing my mind.. i have the baby monitor turned up as high as it will go and i keep checking on her to the point wher she already woke up 2 times and she has only been in bed for 3 hrs. this is the first time i ever remember her getting a fever and she is almost 3 years old.

there are other things that are going through my mind constantly.. worldly issues like the wars and global warming. i keep running scenes through my mind if something happend to change my life as i know it tommrow what i would do and what it would be like... i think about it until my stomac hurts

whenever i hear a low flying plane i think to myself "keep flying dont crash please dont crash" until the sound goes away. its pretty bad concidering i live near an international airport and closer to a smaller airport with smaller planes (i think its one of thoes places where you get flying lessons... i see alot of old fashoned looking planes in the air.. you know the ones that are in the cartoons that sit 2 people, one in fornt and one in back and the wings are bigger than the planes.)

i constantly feel like i am being watched, i have rationalised that its probably a ghost or something i cant see and it cant hurt me but sometimes i feel like someone is watchig me through the window or is in my house.

i am overly obsessive about keeping my house clean and baby proof for fear that cps will come and take my kids away... i am a good mother and i know my kids are safe and cps would probably give me a kid before they took one away but the fear that a corrupt baby black market cps agent will come and lose the paperwork and my kids will be sold or something like that still lingers.

storms scare the heck out of me. i guess this is the only one really caused by something.. a year ago i lived in tornado alley for about 2 years and durring tornado season ther would be tornado watches almost every night. never accually been in a tornado but once there was a warning where they told us to take cover now! one can pop up at any moment. i live in an area with alot of hhills and the mountains arent far... verry low chance of tornados but every storm i am checking the news every 10 min to be sure there arent any warnnings i should know about. and what if a tornado just randomly pops up right next to my house withought any warning and no one had any clue it was about to happen and destroys my house.

i am over protective with my kids.. for example...at family functions i cannot relax and enjoy myslef because i am constantly chasing my kids around and yelling at my husband to help me. i have 2 daughters one will be 3 in sept and the other will be 4 in sept. it seems like the 10 to 13ish year olds take care of the kids while the adults sip coffie and talk. i cannot do that unless my kids are right where i can see them and if i see them not sharring or about to fight with someone i jump in and stop it. i feel like i am hovering over them most of the time... accually had a little girl who was shy and didnt talk to adults she didnt know too well come up to me and tell me my daughter wasnt sharing. (the inlaws of my inlaws so she really didnt know me) if i am hovering that much to make a child who doesnt know me and is shy accually tattle on my kid than maybe i need to back off a little) her mom was standing in a place where she could be seen by her and could have just as easily told her mom instead of me.


well anyway i guess i want to know if there is a way to ease my mind somewhat.. i havent really had any pysical problems aside from an upset stomac but i feel like i am in a constant state of nervousness and fear. i dont really want to go to a theripist... what if they find me crazy and lock me up in an asslyum and i lose my kids! plus i would have alot of people looking down their noses at me my husband for one...can you even take kids to your therapy sessons? anyway, any ideas would be verry helpful.. thankyou





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