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Hi Kathy,

Sorry you had a bit of the big "A" last night. I'm having it a bit this morning but there are reasons. Much stress that is out of my control in the family. Wish everything could just be normal for a while at least until I feel more like myself.
No, I haven't seen a psychologist although I know that is the only way to really get a hold on this monster. I just can't afford it--none of them accept insurance where I am ( NJ) & I have a $2500 deductible for mental health--just had $5,000 out of pocket for gallbladder surgery. I have to pay my psyche doc $125 per visit-- so getting treatment for this anxiety is causing me more anxiety.
I guess I am hoping the Remeron will get me to a little better place & hopefully get off of it, then maybe I can see a psychologist about CBT to try keep the anxiety at bay.

Yes, I have Xanax .25 mgm prescribed to use as need up to 3 x day. Now I have never taken it 3 x day. I have taken an occasional 1/2 tab when I felt I just couldn't stand it. I took the 1/2 tab once a day during the first week or so probably almost every day--the psyche doc had advised that I take it in the beginning of the Remeron automatically without waiting for the anxiety to kick in. Her reason for this was she said initially the Remeron might cause the anxiety to increase. She said once the Remeron has kicked in I should not feel the need for the Xanax & would know I didn't need it as it would make me too tired. I have not noticed that I am more groggy if I do take a half of a Xanax...Xanax just makes me feel more "normal". But then again I only take that little dose ( 1/2 of a .25 mgm).
I am feeling like I need it today but I am going to take a shower & see if getting busy takes the edge off first.

You have not noticed any appetite increase ? What it did for me is let me experience hunger again. I totally forgot what it felt like--very disturbing. Was forcing myself to eat ...thoughtb I would gag with every bite. Now I am able to eat although it was very hard to get the weight to start coming back on. Even with the return of hunger, I had to force more food than I ever would have eaten before. Just seems I've been burning calories--metabolism must be so keyed up. Now I am up to 110 lbs ( was down to 103 - 104 lbs). I am tiny-- 5' 2" and small frame so this is just fine & I really don't want to put anymore weight on. I just wanted to know that I COULD......that I am healthy & not dying ! It was very scary for a while. All my adult life I have had to work at keeping my weight under 125 lbs--so this is totally weird for me. I'm not sure if the weight loss issue was from the gallbladder sickness or anxiety--probably a combo of both I suppose.

I suspect the Remeron is just starting to kick in for you...you should feel hungry soon. Expect that the anxiety may be a problem from the Remeron until it is fully working in 4-6 weeks. I'm on week 7 and I think I am probably as good as it gets at this dose. Will know more when I see psyche doc on 7/18 & will share with you. I am so afraid she will say go to 30 mgm. In my mind the more of this stuff I get into me , the harder it will be down the road to get off.........worry, worry, that's the stuff I'm made of...

Hope you're having a good day. Glad you slept well. I have a hard time getting myself up to bed ( am a nite owl), but once I do I sleeeeeep.

Kate anxiousinnj





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