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Hi Kathy,

It's so hard to describe my anxiety......It seems the racing heart sort of stuff is at bay right now. It all feels like it is "under my skin"...numbness down my arms & in my neck, head. Definite feeling of doom constantly...that rarely goes away. Foggy as if my ears are clogged giving me a very uncomfortable heavy feeling in my head. Hard to concentrate because the "doom" feeling is in the way. It's like I just am very uncomfortable in my body & the only relief is sleep. Not exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.....
When I was in the hospital for a few days for a cardiac work up not too long ago--it got really bad. I could not stay still, restless leg, could barely converse because I just wanted the feeling to go away. It was then that I decided I had to get some sort of help.

But if with Remeron where I am at now is as good as it gets, I'm very worried. I just am not right...the anxiety symptoms are still always festering under my skin. Now I know I should resort to the Xanax as the doc told me to do, but like you I am fully aware of the benzo issues. The rebound anxiety from them can be bad.
This morning I'm not feeling well at all......darn I'm so sick of this.
My daughter called in the midst of what definitely seemed that she was having a full blown panic attack the other day--she is 5 hours away at school & I felt so helpless & scared for her. I finallly talked her thorughb& she was ok, but all I could think was oh my God, now she is going to suffer with this ! It dawned on me that last few times she was home she seemed like what I am reading as "manic". Very wound up, agitated alternating with hyper silliness, loud I am really scared. She promised to get to a doctor, but as we know...that is not a quick fix.
Of course this is all adding to my anxiety along with other family issues, aging sick parents, etc...
Well, I'm rambling & getting more worked up--I think I may have to take a half Xanax....I'm going to give in.......

Hope you are having a better day.......oh & I was up at 3 AM eating blueberry pie.....up to 112 & I really don't want to gain more weight now !

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