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Once upon an time there was this girl who was out going, so social, asked to dance in a night club and get paid ( I didnt do it!) she became so house-bound, that to open up the front door to get to the letterbox was actually out of control, nah couldnt do it, stayed inside for three weeks.20 years later, ( dont read my relationship thread at the mo ) so 20 odd years later there is a girl who can go out, without fear.
I started to change the way I thought, ie what I was saying to myself, cant do that cant do this, to I CAN do this I can do that, it took all day all night of correcting and reprogramming what I had told myself to believe, cant , cant , cant,....whenever you get panicky stay in the very moment, ie: oh isnt this wonderful , whatever you are doing , tell your brain good things, you are what you think and you are in control of what you put in your mind..whenever a bad thought pops in, stop, and say now why did I just say that to myself, how silly, course I feel fine, infact I feel damned good, its all about what you are saying to yourself
If you think bad thoughts, then its bad ,think good thoughts and with time and I promise you this you can improve your life greatly. Check out Dr wayne Dwyer(dyer) I can never remember last name, anyhow he saved my sanity , by just thinking about the very minute that we live in.Not the past and not the future, but just right now.! It works.
You have social anxiety, every-one does but yours has escalated...
By the way dont think that every one in the market is happy, I couldnt even get there. and the first time I did I left the trolley at the checkout, it was all to much, today I can shop with ease, still a pain in the butt, who wants to hang out at the supermarket, but you know what I mean..wish you well and check out the Dr I recommended.
Best wishes
Ruby
I have struggled with Anxiety for over 10 years. Over the years it has taken on many different forms. Fears have come and gone only to be replaced with new ones. But I will say this I do understand your fear of people. Mine is strictly fear as if they will hurt me, for shyness has no part of my fear as it is with plain social anxiety.this is not social anxiety, for me its"paranoid personality disorder" You and I and anyone else who feels this knows first hand that it goes far beyond just nervousness or shyness. I find new techniques to help myself with this as i can. I must say one thing, the mind is very powerful and we truly are how we think, if your thoughts are distorted and unrealistic you must change them and let go of any and all fear, where there is no fear the fear will then have no power to thrive on.Accept that some people will make you feel uneasy but that doesn't mean they are any harm to you, it is just a feeling and try to be less affected by other people.
Dont be afraid of the fear behind the thought!~Let the thought go, release its power. A funny way to look at it could be,"i get a bad feeling about that person cuz maybe they do bad things, but that doesnt necessarily mean they mean any harm towards me, I mean, who am I in their life?hahaha, I am just part of the crowd in their eyes, or i am a small part of a big big world and things are not focused on me. Try to look at the world as a whole picture and try not to center things on yourself.Nowadays people are way too focused on themselves and their own needs to want to hurt you.KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!!!! If you practice certain ways of thinking for so long eventually you believe them, but if you learn new ways of thinking and practicedifferent(more pos) thought patterns then eventuallyyou will believe those and overtime you will forgetthe old ways of thinking.You spent years of learning it and now it will take months or yearsto unlearn it. Practice makes perfect and thats exactlywhat you've done. We've practiced the negativethought patterns for so long that you are perfect atit.Now its time to unlearn it. Believe me when i tell you these things for I have been dealing with these problems for almost a decade. I learned that once I stopped fighting it and accepted it was who I am I was able to cope with it better. I found techniques that worked "FOR ME" and I practiced those and still do and I always will but its okay because it gets me through. Find a way for you to deal with "you". Make urself a short list of reminders to help you, something you can replay in your mind over and over. Once you STOP believing in your fearful thoughts they WILL go away. Trouble with me is once mine go away my mind gives me new ones, but thats okay because there never as bad as their sisters before them. The best medicine for me honestly......is Laughter, everytime I find myself thinking ridiculous thoughts I start laughing at myself and hit myself in the head "snap out of it,lol" then its not so bad. dont be a prisoner of your own mind, force urself to get out there and "let go of the fear behind the fear" what that means is, if someones afraid of a lion because the lion might eat them, they should stop thinking about the lion eating them and they might not be so scared of the lion. whatever you fear most about people dont think about that when your around them just concentrate on the feeling itself, sometimes if theres no fear behind that thought, the fear itself will go away.Another technique that always works for me is.......whatever you fear most about people like"they will hurt me" well they cant hurt you as long as you dont let em in ur box. its impossible. the box"i call it" is ur space of a certain amount of space around you that nobody can cross unless you trust them and let them in.so as long as noones in your box they cant hurt you. try it, you'll be surprised how much it helps. I really hope i have helped you for I too struggle with this on a daily basis. Im not going to tell you this will go away, because chances are it wont,but you can tone it down a bit to make your life far more manageable and your world less scary. From severe to moderate to tolerable and maybe one day so mild that it will go unnoticed and pop up only once a month or once a year. Whatever the case may be,you need to be able to tolerate yourself around people, dont allow them(these people) take ur peace away. Get solid and peaceful in your skin and focus on you and try not to pay too much attention on what "they" are doing.....even though its hard to not "watch their every move just in case" Just remember, as long as they are not in your box then what they do doesnt matter. And i dont know if you do this or not, but i find myself trying to read into peoples moves like,"why'd they do that??" as if it involves malicious intent towards me,lol.so i deal with that by saying "people do weird [B]THINGS[/B] and theres sometime NO meaning to it at all. I mean really "look at us!!""look how we act around people!!"See if it were up to me I would never be around anyone but my kids, but unfortunately we have to get out there and be around people so if you can make a goal for yourself to not runaway from your prob and just learn to tone those fears down a bit so you can function better then it wont be so bad, i promise;)





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