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This is driving me absolutely insane! I know there are plenty of people on here that can relate so I think I just want to vent a little and hope for some words of encouragement. I have had so many issues with my heart in the last few months. I have had so many tests and they can't seem to find anything wrong. I got put on beta blockers for the tachycardia and they were working real good for a while, and then they started making my heart rate too slow. So now I take only half. Every day, the second I get out of bed, my heart races. I take my beta blocker and eventually it slows back down (sometimes too slow, though). I did something really stupid on Friday. I was reading this board and someone mentioned that they were afraid they had long qt syndrome. I had no idea what this was so I looked it up. STUPID!!! I read that one of the symptoms was having a fast heart rate upon awakening. I have been a total mess ever since. Now realistically I know I probably don't have this. I am sure that with all of the tests I have had it would have been seen by now. But then there is always that "what if?"

This past Saturday my heart rate was high all day. We took my dogs to a pool party and I was out in the sun, so that probably wasn't good. Then, to make matters worse I went out with some friends Saturday night and drank and stayed out until 6AM. I haven't done something like that in 10 years. Ever since then my heart rate has been pretty erratic. One minute it will be really fast and the next really slow. When I woke up this morning it was like 120 and it hasn't been that fast since I started taking the beta blockers. Of course right now it is at about 56, which is almost as bad as the tachy.

The thing is, I am totally obsessed with this. I'm to the point where I wonder if there is anything wrong or if I'm bringing it upon myself??? I am CONSTANTLY checking my pulse. Honestly - I can't stop doing it. And when I feel all of these weird rhythms it just makes me panic even more. Would anxiety really cause changes in my heart rate like that? Where it beats really fast for a few seconds, then slow, then fast, etc. Would anxiety really cause me to have a fast heart rate every day when I wake up? It even happens on the weekend where I can sleep in and I don't have to go to work.

I'm having another holter done on the 9th but I'm so afraid something will happen before then. It probably won't, but I feel that this is going to be the longest two weeks. I don't know how I much longer I can deal with this. Sometimes I think I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I can't imagine living the rest of my life worried about my heart like I do. I have been to two different therapists and they didn't help me at all. I have had nothing traumatic happen in my life and no one can really figure out the root of my anxiety. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It helped just to type about it.

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