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I started developing anxiety months ago. I haven't drank since then, not really because of the anxiety... the oppurtunity just hadn't came up, I drink socially, and it's usually planned in advance... and that just hasn't happened in a while. My friend's birthday was yesterday, and so we planned to drink and play pool last night.

So you know how people have that week where they have a problem constantly on their mind, and at the end of the week they just want to forget about it and have fun for the night? Well, I thought to myself, I'm just going to forget about anxiety tonight and have a good time... and I thought having a few beers would help in doing so, though I didn't want to go overboard with it and get wasted. Well, after one... I just started feeling light-headed, almost like I was going to pass out, though I knew that wasn't going to happen. Of course it wasn't like I had too much to drink, but it was just my anxiety haunting me. I tried to push past it, and started drinking another one... but had to stop after half of it. I sat down and my four friends are all talking to each other, and I just can't interact with them. I couldn't concentrate on the conversation, I was just kind of in a daze and zoned out... I felt out of place and wanted to go home... but I didn't want to disappoint my birthday friend, the night had just started. This was all the exact opposite of what I expected to happen. Our sober friend drove us to the pool hall... where these effects on me lasted for another hour or so. I started feeling better after that, but was just disappointed.

I've always been sort of shy and kept to myself, only being comfortable around my friends... but when I used to drink, I would be more lively and outgoing and social, and could talk to anybody. I never drank that often... probably once a month... just have a night when I could have fun and let go. Does this happen to anyone else? It sounds a bit unusual to me, because I thought that it would relieve my symptoms, but it just kind of intensified them. Is drinking just something I'm going to have to cross off my list now? I'm barely 21... and I hate to see it as something I can't do anymore because I have anxiety now.





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