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Hi all,

I have been having a bad year. This year I was formally diagnosed with herniated discs and some spinal cord compression in my neck. Now, this will not kill me and can be fixed or resolved with surgery. However my symptoms are not bad enough for surgery yet. I am only 30 - and yes, you young'uns - 30 is still young, as you'll realize someday. We're not old till we hit about 65 or so!!! 30 is young for what I have. I'm telling you this because I have been a health hypochondriac/anxiety/OCD since I was 24.

And I've had periods, 2-3 years of no symptoms and a decent life - i.e, I'm not worried about ALS, Parkinsons, Cancer, etc. And right now, I have twitching episodes. Nnow, it might be due to my cord compression, but my neuro docs say no. Some surgeons say yes, my orthopedic doc says no, my GP says Yes and other nurses, etc. ask me, "Don't you have a severe history of anxiety? and health anxiety"? and of course I say, YES, but this time IT'S FOR REAL, I'M REALLY DYING OF ALS."

So, deep down I know that the twitching,etc is either anxiety or related to my neck. And when I'm worried it gets worse. It's been going on for 4 months now. it started in one hand, travled up my left arm, into my right arm and into my legs. Now I have twitches in my neck and on my back and in my butt.

I am able to hold down a job, be a wife (I think my husband has had about enough of me after five years of this crap, though) and now I want kids, but I'm worried I'll be a freak and too worried about myself to take care of them.

So I spend my days crying and freaking out and drinking at night. So, if this is anxiety, i'm ruining my life. I take cymbalta, 60mg and fluoextine, 20mg a day. I know I need to take Klonopin or Xanax for the twitching. I've had an EMG, 72 hour EEG, 2 Brain MRI, 2 CSpine MRI, 1 lumbar MRI, 1 Abdominal CT, a endoscopy, a colonoscopy and as much blood work as a human can have. I take Cymbalta, floexetine (prozac), topomax, neurontin, tons of allergy medications and drink (yes, not smart).

I've tried therapy many times.. It's been helpful many times. But I tried last year during a horrible bout of IBS (yes, it was a horrible bout of it for about 4 mos, all I was thinking about was crapping my pants in public). Luckily that is gone now. But I had a horrible therapist last year. I relocated from Illinois to Texas in 2003, and all of my great therapist, psychs were there and I cannot find anyone good here.

But I am able to function fairly well from 8am -6pm as a high level people manager at a financial firm - somehow... but when I get home, I'm ususally in bad shape. Haven't had sex with the hubby in over a month, just because I'm in such bad shape, feel gross and I'm worried I'm going to die.

Ugggh! I'm in bad shape, huh? So, that's my story. I've been there, done that.

I know I need to stop worrying and get my crap together and see a therapist and get my neck fixed, etc., but.... it just isn't as easy as that...

But, if you're like me, do better and try to get a hold of it before it turns you into me.
but at this particular moment, the twitching has me freaked the most.

Looking for Normalcy again --

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