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Hi Hyper,

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I can relate to you in many ways. I feel like no matter what I try that my anxiety doesn't get any better. I've seen two therapists and I'm about to try number three on Monday. I have tried Lexapro and Zoloft, but had bad reactions to both. I'm a big chicken too when it comes to taking meds. I'm afraid of the side effects and I'm afraid that even if they do help, some day I'll have to go off them and what about the withdrawl effects? What about long term effects of taking meds? My worry list just goes on and on. I also know what you're saying about being jealous of your wife for getting up every day and feeling well. My husband is the same way. I wonder what it would be like to feel carefree and normal like that all the time. Although I haven't lost a job, I'm not working now either. I've gone back to college for a second degree because I didn't want to do what I went to school for the first time. My husband was so supportive of the decision. The problem is that I think I'm enjoying school a little too much sometimes because of the easier schedule. I worry what it will be like when I'm trapped at work again with anxiety when I finish school next year. It's so hard to stay at work when you feel anxious, scared, and sick, isn't it?

How's your wife handling your anxiety? Do you talk about it with her much? My husband is supportive, but doesn't understand. How could they if they've never felt the way we do? It's just so hard to explain to someone what this feels like. He does say sometimes that I'm always sick or I never want to do things like I used to. I feel like you too in the sense that my world gets smaller and smaller. Since I've been going to school, that's pretty much all I do....go to classes and come home. I run errands and stuff, but I never do anything fun anymore. I never want to get together with friends or travel much. Every time we do, I just feel sick and worried the whole time. It makes you never want to do anything, doesn't it?

I feel like there's got to be something we can do. I'm hearing from some of the others on the list that cognitive behavior therapy seems to be helping many of them. Maybe you should try a new therapist since yours doesn't seem to be able to relate? Don't give up, Hyper. There's a life out there for us.

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