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I think I need a lot of help....

I suffered CP a coule hours after being born - left a bit of a physical problem but nothing obvious upfront. Anyway, I was always a slow eater - come to think of it, I think it is b/c of having CP, could be.
About 3 years ago, I suffered a sever choking incident. Felt like I was about to die choking on a piece of steak. I don't know, but I do feel that my tongue "sort of" pushes back unchewed food and this is how I choke. Or do to my problem, I could not chew my food as well, or fast for that matter, and I thus swallow unchewed food? I really don't know.

But these last three years, it has become almost a habit - I think I've had 5 "severe" choking incidences, where I am now "nervous" about sitting & eating solid foods, ie. steak, hard bread, ice berg salad, etc. Even know, I was eating a muffin, and for 15 minutes now, I feel something "lodged" in my throat! I drank some water, ate apple sauce - all went done smoothly, but I "feel" something. Ad I taste the mufin still, which makes me believe that I have it there. I also feel like there is an "obstruction' there & I start tensing...I Know what you're thinking: anxiety.

I ask you, what/how can I deal with this? I am suffering alone, so to speak, since I feel embarrassed about it People noticed that I eat slow & small bites at a time, though they told me to relax since choking is not done easily and to simply just "chew well." Don't get me wrong, I do eat steak from time to time, small bites, but it takes such a while & it ends up cold!

I really think my problem is that my tongue somehow pushes unchewed food down the throat, though i have tried many times to catch it in time, successfully, but the times that I haven't were the times I've choked.

This has caused quite an embarrassement; I am not a child & so I don't have that excuse. But I do fear or rather, I'm quite nervous when I am going out to eat with others, or even when I eat alone!

I don't want this taking over my life, though I feel that it has the last three years. I have been told that I have a lot of throat/neck tension, as it does reflect on my voice. However, as you know, people with CP tense quite often and on a regular basis, so you can imagine this has become a learned behavior of some sort.

Luckily, I do feel a bit better know; I guess the muffin really did go down; it was anxiety that caused the "obstruction" as I called it above.

I will have insurance as of 2007, but for the time being, what can I do, who can I research to see once I have the insurance, and how can I mange to control it & look forward to my steak again? Please, shed your insight. Thank you.

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