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Are there any herbal anxiety meds out there? I am taking SAM-e and its not helping my anxiety so I want to find something to help me with this. My trouble is after 8pm. The kids are in bed, hubby is tired and falls alseep watching tv and I panic. I do not go to bed until after 2am and up at 7am. I am afraid to sleep. I do not nap during the day but when it comes to going to bed my mind is on overload and I stay awake. I find myself taping stupid movies and cooking shows so I have something to watch.

[COLOR="Navy"]This is my post from the depression board and I hope this will help here, as I am thinking I should have posted it here. [/COLOR]
I am not sure where to begin, but I will try and explain what I am going through and maybe someone else has felt this way so I can get some idea of where to go next.

About October 16th I was in bed and got this feeling of terror. I thought about all those around me dying. My husband, my kids and all my family, but not me. As hubby was out of town due home the next day so I called my mom and talked to her for over an hour. She calmed me down and than I watched tv for a bit and fell asleep. These thought kept coming into my mind for another 2 nights. I called her again, as hubby came home ill and was in no state to talk to me. Finally had to do something. So I took nyquil as I know when I am ill, I take it and am asleep in 40 minutes. I took it before I wanted to sleep and than 35 minutes later went to bed and was asleep. After doing this for 3 nights I knew this was not right. I than bought some sleeping pills. They were awful. I went to bed at 10pm woke at 2 am and up the rest of the day. That night I took the nyquil again as I needed sleep.

That day was a Saturday and we went shopping and I picked up some SAM-e after looking online for some ideas. I have been taking it for 2 weeks now. I total of 400mg/day taken in the morning. I feel better, but the thoughts of death are still there to some extent. If I watch a show with a funeral or something very sad I begin to think about it and feel bad. The thoughts only come at night. During the day I am fine. I find myself at night watching tv and than going on the computer to avoid bed until the last possible minute as my mind waunders and I start to think about this. I feel bad for having kids to only have them die when they get older. I feel most of this has to due to the fact that when my father was 32 he was told he had cancer and in two weeks time I turn 32. He died two years later and I was 9 when he died. What he had is not passed on but I have always worried and I guess I have not dealt with it as much as I thought I have.

We do not have the money to have me seek theraphy, and to be honest I will not go that route as I have done it before but never felt comfortable. I alwasy felt judged by the doc. I have been on various meds through the years from paxil to prozac to lexapro. None of which I ever felt made a difference. I had been off all doctor given meds for about 2 years when this came on. I am not sure what I can do to stop these thoughts, but I really want them to stop. I try to keep myself busy so when it is bedtime I am tired but no matter what I do from exercise to just staying busy all day I still go to bed with a mind full of thoughts.

I know I will not die until I am old as I am to stubborn to go early. I want to be heard and nothing will change this. I just want to stop thinking about this and move on. I miss the days I could lay in bed and just fall asleep.

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