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Anxiety Message Board

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My life is being ruined by anxiety. I'm a young teenager and have so many problems with being anxious. Here's some of my anxiety problems:
Always look at negative things
Social anxiety

Those are just some. My mind never stops. There's always a million thoughts rushing threw my head. I remember a time I wasn't like this. Things have been this way for about 3 years and just keep getting worse. I can never achieve any of my goals because my obsessive/anxiety gets in the way. Right now its near 1am and I have school tomorrow and I probably won't be able to fall asleep til 3am! All because my mind does not stop. I feel as though I have no control over my thoughts. I'm so ashamed of who I am....
Reasons I think I'm anxious:
I'm gay, and I've been hiding since I was a little kid.
Parents got divorced at a young age, moved back and forth, got step parents, constant life changes.
I'm always in survival mode.

Well anyways, I'm on klonopin and wellbutrin and I feel like they help a little but not enough.... I'm kind of seeing a councelor, but I don't tell my councelor the truth because I'm afraid I will be vulnerable and the councelor will know who I really am...
I don't feel too many positive emotions. Never enjoy moments like I used to. I've lost all my friends. Its hard being an anxious guy.
Its hard being gay and going out of your way to hide it. If my family found out they would despise me considering my family is a strict christian background.
I'm starting to feel like I should come out and say that I'm gay no matter the consequences, so then I'd be that much more comfortable in my skin and not be so paranoid and anxious. Its hard holding in a secret you're ashamed of for YEARS.

Can anyone give me some advice? I'm in desperate need...thank you...I feel like you guys are the last of my hopes. My family isn't really helping considering there's always chaos....
Thank you :(

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