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I've posted here a couple of times... but now I think I'm at an all-time low. I just don't know what's happening...

I am constantly anxious, mostly about my health. I've suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, and physical symptoms of depression for about 5 years now. A few months ago, I found a lump in my neck. I've had a CT scan on it, and have had 3 doctors tell me that it is harmless... yet, I am convinced that I have a fatal illness.

I literally look at my children throughout the day, and think to myself how sad it is... the possibility of them growing up without their mother. I have trouble eating, or I eat too much to cope. I can't sleep, yet I'm completely exhausted. I am afraid day and night...

I mentioned this a little bit to my GP, who wrote me a prescription for Lexapro. That was about a month ago... and I still haven't started the medication. I'm scared to. I don't know what's happening to me.

Does anyone else have issues similar to this? I feel like anxiety is completely taking over my life, and it's turning me into a person who just can't function at all. I have 3 small children, and my husband is as understanding as he can be. But I don't think he understands yet, the magnitude of what is going on with me. I literally feel like I will die... either from some fatal disease, or from the anxiety itself. I am becoming depressed about all of this, and everything in my life is going downhill.

I am embarrassed, and ashamed. I am looking hard for something to turn my life around. I don't even know where to begin.

If you've read this far, thank you!
Blessings to you all!

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