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hey natalie,

i also get very "bad" around the time of my cycle, but mine has to do with depression--it completely plummets. with that comes irritability, anger, and snapping at just about everything...most of the time it's not even directed at anybody in particular--even inanimate objects upset me. it's the underlying anxiety and depression, that for me go hand-in-hand. actually i was dx. with major depression and axiety/panic dis.

when i was younger (i'm 36 now), i used to think about death. my own death, and especially the eternity of it. i hated it. i was afraid of it. and the inevitability of it. i couldn't imagine not being. nobody understood either. i was alone in this i grew older, these thoughts seemed to go away...don't know why, maybe b/c i witnessed my grandparents pass away (and i was very close to them); i thought of all the great people who've lived, you know, the great minds in history, who've lived and died, and said to myself or thought to myself, that if this happened to them, heck, i'm nobody special, and as a matter of fact, death is part of life. from the moment we're born, we're headed there. no matter what we do to distract ourselves. so, i'd better forget about it, and just go on, since i can't do anything to stop it anyway. i'm no more special than the others before me, then the trees, the flowers, the stars (they die too), and everything else in the universe.

i've done some yoga and some meditation in the past. i am going to take a meditation class again, but for other reasons (to ease my stress and other pressures i'm feeling these days). maybe you would want to try that too?

i'm sorry you're feeling so bad. but believe me, there's light at the end of the tunnel (no pun intended)!
good luck to you! :angel:

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