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Long story short, my boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up at the end of January. I was the dumper but I was still stressed and depressed about it. I had to move from my house and everything has changed dramatically for me. I also started a new job on Jan. 29th. However, for most of February, I felt NUMB to any feelings, which is weird for me. I couldn't cry and I just felt like I didn't care. I am a very emotional person and a worrier so I think it's strange that I felt that way. I was with my ex for 5 years (from age 19 - 24) so we kind of grew up together. Also I want to add that my major anxiety problems are HEALTH anxiety. I have been a hypochondriac all of my life.

At the end of February, I started freaking out because I had a swollen lymph node behind my ear. I convinced myself it was lymphoma. It went down after a couple of days so I quit worrying about it. I noticed though that when I started worrying about the lymphoma thing, I started feeling physically EXHAUSTED. I felt like I had to lay down and sleep right then and there and I was just sooo tired. This exhaustion feeling began happening sporadically for a couple of weeks after that.

This started my health anxiety panic up and it hasn't stopped since then. I started getting depressed about the breakup, how I didn't have a comfort zone anymore (before I would run to my boyfriend and he would make me feel better) and how I didn't really have a home (I moved back in with my mom but it's not the same). I can't quit worrying about everything and I believe it's taking a toll on me physically but my hypochondria doesn't let me believe that.

So ever since the end of February, I have been tired ALL the time. I've also started experiencing MAJOR joint pain everywhere and my muscles hurt and feel like they're burning. I've also had tingling in my feet and hands as well as a feeling of numbness that comes and goes. I don't actually get numb, it just feels numb if that makes sense.

I went to Florida for a week in March and that was the best I felt during this entire period. I still felt tired all the time but not enough where I couldn't go do anything, obviously. I just felt (and still feel) like when I'm NOT doing something, I need to fall asleep. When I'm out and doing stuff I feel a lot better but when I sit down I just want to crash.

Ever since I came home though, my anxiety levels have risen dramatically and I am back to having joint pain and muscle pain/burning. I notice it goes away completely when I take Xanax or drink alcohol, so it has to be anxiety related right?? How can anxiety cause THIS much pain though? I am TERRIFIED of going to the doctor, plus my insurance doesn't start for another month so I want to try and at least stick it out until then.

Sorry for the rambling and me jumping all over the place, but does anyone have any thoughts on this?? I am worrying hardcore and it's just creating a vicious cycle.

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