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I hope I don't ramble on in this but I don't have anybody to call right now, my boyfriend is at work and must be out in the field because he can't answer . I have really stressed myself out this morning. I just came back not long ago from dropping kids off at school and I had quiet time to myself, was sitting here thinking of what I needed to do today, nothing bad but then it was quiet and thoughts about my mom started up, she passed on Jan 31, and I have periods where I just break down and cry uncontrollably about her and this morning was one of those times, I got myself too worked up and now I feel like I'm going crazy. I hate that feeling when you just feel insane, one minute I almost feel right like nothing is the matter with me, no weird pains anywhere that I mistake for something and send myself to a picture of human anatomy so I can see 'what's there' where the pain is, trying to find relief if it's not where a major organ that I could stress over something being wrong with, didn't feel lightheaded or anything and then I just start freaking out and start feeling dizzy, a bit like my head hurts(but it could have been from the sudden onset of freaking out crying) and a tightness around right above my armpit area, for some reason the muscles around there tighten up when i'm stressed and it sucks! I get scared that the anxiety is going to get worse so I try to stop and tell myself that for that minute, I am good and nothing is going to get worse so I can handle the feeling I have for that minute. Sometimes I think the silliest things bring on anxiety for me...Okay thanks all, I feel a little bit better for being able to write this down. It's really comforting to read other people's posts and know that I'm not the only one that feels this way or that has what feels like irrational fears about things...





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