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Anxiety Message Board

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I have anxiety induced by stress I am sure, but I just can't find a way to get each and every thought from my head. At night, during the day, it's mostly as a result of my family. My father in law passed Jan 2, my mom passed Jan 31, my great uncle and one other family member passed this year so all of that, especially my mom, has me in anxiety mode much of the time. I am fine then poof, it hits. I cry, get scared, feel all sorts of pains and such that I am sure is something deadly. I took a perceived stress test and didn't exactly come out well on it, scored quite high and that scares me because I know stress and anxiety play a negative part in your health. If something happens, for example my sister and dad arguing tonight and they put me in the middle of it, I just can't get it out of my head and I end up causing myself anxiety. I get so irritable from feel so worn out and 'not right' all the time that I sometimes snap at my four year old, don't care for going places sometimes because of fear of anxiety, etc. Tomorrow morning my daughter has a dentist appt and I am feel anxious about it because I know I will have to be there for a while and I can't leave so I fear I will feel trapped, am going alone and won't have someone to help me if I feel anxiety there.
I don't take any meds, I am a bit afraid of them, and afraid of going to the doctor. I know once family issues subside the anxiety will go away tremendously, but unfortunately my main anxiety inducing issue (my dad is undergoing complications from a gallbladder surgery, is depressed and needy and leans on me for EVERYTHING) will not be over for at least another month. Can anyone at least just tell me I will be okay and I will get through it? I want to feel normal again but sometimes I feel the strangest little pains that I know are anxiety, like nerves in my head twitching and it freaks me out, pressure in my head, tightening in the muscles in my chest, inability to breathe deeply, you name it! Husband tries but he is so busy with work and just doesn't understand, it's hard for him to know how to handle me and I just wish someone would be here to help me through this difficult time. I want to feel relaxed and normal so badly. Somebody, give me something good to chant to myself to make me believe I'll live through it all! I am so tired sometimes I don't even have the energy to talk about my issues or even cry about it any more.

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