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Ok, so I don't know where to start, but basically I have OCD/depression and anxiety disorder.
Sounds like a lot, I know.
OCD is my primary problem, but I can manage that on my own, for the most part. And the depression is usually circumstantial, and I can usually wade trhough thatn on my own too.
But, over the last few years, for various reasons, my anxiety (independent of the OCD) is taking over and severly interfering with my life.
I don't really know where it started. I've had OCD and depressive bouts since I was a teenager, but the anxiety is new.
It started a few years ago with a fear of choking (weird, I know, but it was afer I actually choked) That fear dissapated on its own and then after one bad bout of insomnia, I developed a fear of insomnia (if that makes any sense)
I was able to cope with it more or less, but after a bad break-up it exploded and I was constantly worried about not being able to sleep (which caused me not to be able to sleep, and turn to drinking to calm my nerves each night). This was terrible, and lasted for a looong time. Eventually, I forced myself to stop drinking, and just deal with the severe sleep-anxiety, and it got a bit better. I still had allot of anxiety about sleeping in places other than my home, or getting rest when friends stayed over, or if I had to be up really early, ect. Basically, any sleeping circumstances that were different from my regular routine really made me worry about getting to sleep, either causing me to loose sleep, or break down and drink to calm down enough to fall asleep.
During all this, I entered another relationship, which was very successful, and I was able to calm down a bit in general.
I still struggled with my "sleep anxiety" until about a year and a half ago, when I moved to a new city, and even though our relationship becaome ambiguous, and I was in a new city with LOTS of noise, I was able to relax for the first time in sooo long.
I'm not really sure why, honsestly.
I was just finally able to relax about it.
But, about 5 motnhs ago my boyfriend and I broke up officailly, and my anxiety leveles skyrocketed again.
I am able to cope with it some of the time, but when I can't it's unbearble.
It is beginning to interfer with my life, and hinder my ability to enjoy things and pursue the things I want: travel, adventure, ect...
This was all enunciated for me when i recently went on a trip with friends, and sharing hotels, ect, sleepign somewhere other then my home made me really anxious about possibly having insomnia, and the worry alone kept me up, and I took xanax and drank to cope, and to help me sleep.
This made me cranky, exhausted and depressed the whole trip and I wasn;t able to enjoy m,yself.
I even lost my appette and was having severe night sweats when we were on our trip!!!!!
What is my problem!?
I used to be the most adventurous, up-for-anything person I knew!
Now I'm so terrified of loosing control and not being able to sleep, that I avoid travelling, ect becuase of it!!
This is [email protected]!!
I can;t live my life like this, I want to see the world, have spontaneaus adventures, ect..
How can I do that if I am so worried about not getting to rest that I make myself sick?
Sorry for the looong post--
Obviously, there is more going on here than just insomnia, it;s a FEAR of insomnia which keeos me awake and keeps me from doing the things I want to do.

So my questiosn are:
1. What can I do to conquer this?
2. Why did it dissapate when I was in a loving realtionship (my anxiety uis ten-fold now..)
3. And can anxiety cause severe night sweats???

any advice is greatly appreciated.
I feel liek a freak! I'm so tiered of this, it's keeping me from livng my life!!!





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